Reply To: I’m really stressed out man

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Hi JS,

It is understandable that you would be stressed out by such a change to a relationship that was previously going so well for nearly 5 months.

Unfortunately, seeing her for about 3-4 hours every 2 weeks is just not enough to maintain a healthy relationship.

The same goes for how often you both communicate.

If you are only now able to get an hour of conversation with her a day as opposed to how the both of you would talk for hours every night, the change in schools has most certainly affected your relationship in a negative way.

You should let her know how you feel about the fact that the both of you only get to see each other for 3-4 hours every 2 weeks and barely talk as much as you used to.

It is important to do this first so as to determine whether this is also bothering her.

If it isn’t, this relationship is most likely close to ending and is basically on life support.

However, if she does show the same kind of concerns, the next step would be to come up with practical ways to better the situation.

An effective way to talk more would be to simply set aside a particular block of time each day that the both of you plan to talk.

Being that you are seeing her a lot less than you used to, you should have a lot more video calls to each other than merely verbal calls.

You both need to see each other visually as often as you can so that you are able to maintain the emotional connection.

As far as only getting to see each other for 3-4 hours every 2 weeks, the both of you could come up with a way to improve that.

There may be certain activities in your schedules that you can both give up in order to make more time to see each other.

In essence, ditch the unimportant activities and make room to spend the time that you both would have spent engaged in those activities actually seeing each other.

Again, all of these changes will only work or come to fruition if the both of you are willing to make this relationship work.

The sooner you have the conversation with her about how you feel, the sooner you will find out where she stands.

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