Reply To: Is he testing me ?

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Hi Farah,

Thank you for your kind words and I am glad that the videos have been helpful.

This guy is most likely not sure about what he wants.

On the one hand he sleeps with you and talks about having a baby girl and on the other hand, he talks about friendship.

It is unlikely that he is doing all of this because he is just lonely, as he has no parents or siblings.

After all, he was still able to go off on his 3 month trip abroad.

This would indicate that he can handle not being around you for an extended period of time.

That rules out loneliness for the most part.

He is most likely at a crossroads.

On the one hand, he knows that he is getting older.

He has told you that he would like to have a daughter like you who would be able to take care of him when he gets old.

Hence, he is aware of his mortality and that time is running out.

However, at the same time, he loves his freedom.

He loves the fact that he is already retired at 55.

He loves the fact that he gets to travel in winter for 3 months.

If he were to get into a committed relationship with you, there is a fear on his part that he will lose that freedom to a large extent.

A reason why he may have introduced you to three of his close friends but has never shown interest in meeting yours could be because he knows that if he were to meet your friends, there will be inevitable curiosity about what he is up to.

They would scrutinize.

Your friends would naturally be protective of you and he may worry that he would have to keep trying to prove that he is a good guy whenever they are around.

Being that he is at a crossroads in terms of what he should do with you, he doesn’t want to put himself in a position of constant scrutiny if he were to be around your friends.

As a result, he has avoided meeting them altogether.

Again, this is a guy that is wrestling with his mortality and his freedom.

His freedom is all that he knows.

He has had it for his entire adult life.

This makes it that much more difficult for him to let go of said freedom and embrace a committed relationship with you.

As long as he remains in this state, he will want the best of both worlds.

He will want to still sleep with you, while also calling you a friend.

He will want to give you access to his flat as though you are his girlfriend, while also being able to simultaneously travel abroad for months on end and live a life without relationship responsibilities.

It is unlikely that he is testing you.

If anything, he may be hoping that you break the stalemate by simply telling him exactly what you want.

This way, he is left with an actual choice that he has to make.

Making Logical Sense Of Online Dating