Reply To: Why does he keep pursuing me after making it clear that he doesn't want to date?

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Ignoring him may or may not make him step up. The likelihood of him stepping up may depend on just how much of an emotional boost he requires.

If he is able to get by, he may not step up. But, if he finds that he is obsessing over you, he may feel the need to step up because merely staring at you is simply not enough of an emotional boost to him.

Things wouldn’t necessarily be different if he was the one to approach you. He would be just as unsure of himself, as in his feelings, if he were to approach you as he would be if you were the one who approached him.

He really doesn’t get that far in his mind when it comes to how he would go about dating you given that he doesn’t even talk to you in the first place. He skips the talking part in his mind and just imagines being with you.

Again, this is something that he may conjure up from time to time. It has never been intense enough to inspire or compel him to step up and talk to you.

If he was in a serious relationship that ended last year, that breakup could be contributing to the chaotic manner in which his emotions govern him.

There may still be a part of him that misses certain elements of that relationship.

In terms of what your friend said about him wanting to be friends with benefits, he may indeed fantasize about being with you intimately from time to time.

However, it is unlikely that he would want to be friends with benefits. He may worry that a relationship like that would only lead to further chaos in terms of his own emotions.

Making him feel a way that other girl’s don’t can mean something in the sense that, if he was looking to date someone, you may be at the top of his list.

However, even with this kind of priority, he simply lacks motivation to do anything about it. This is often due to a lack of emotional investment and fear.

He would much rather experience a boost to his energy than give much of any of his in return. Giving his energy back in return would only cause him to worry about how that can further complicate his own emotions.

Figuring out if you have strong feelings for him or just infatuation will help to give you clarity. In your particular case, it may be a healthy combination of the two.

You may feel this way about him even though he is not the kind of guy that you are normally attracted to because of just that, he is not the kind of guy that you typically date.

This could be a case of an opposite causing attraction. You want to unravel the mystery behind this strangely shy, yet popular guy. The deeper you dig into trying to figure him out, the more emotionally invested you become.

This is often what leads to you developing feelings for him.

If he has become obsessive and stalkerish in his behavior, he may be getting more desperate to figure himself and this situation out before he has to graduate.

By being more shy and nervous around you, he may be indicating that despite the temptation to talk to you, his complicated emotions just keep getting in the way.

Making Logical Sense Of Online Dating