Hi Saphira,
In your five year long friendship with him, there may have been moments where he has been tempted to go further than friendship and possibly pursue something romantic with you.
However, he has also been in a relationship for that length of time and there’s a good chance that he has conflicting emotions about his partner.
When they are having fights or arguments or disagreements, those may be the times where you notice him getting closer to you.
You may notice that the both of you hang out more all of a sudden or he’s coming over to your place to play cards and have drinks more often.
These are probably the moments where he is having some relationship issues with his partner and is thinking about giving in to the possibility of pursuing something romantic with you.
However, when he goes cold on you, it most likely happens because he has either made up with his partner and resolved the issue or he’s feeling a sense of guilt in getting too close to you.
Hence, you are dealing with a guy who is having conflicting emotions about his relationship and his own feelings as far as both his girlfriend and you are concerned.
However, being that he has been in this relationship with his girlfriend for years now, she’s most likely the one he has the strongest feelings for and the one he feels a greater sense of priority to.
As long as his emotions remain conflicted, these mixed signals will probably continue.