Reply To: How do I tell a guy I met on a dating site that I’m plus size?

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Hi Evelyn,

You need to be honest about the fact that you are plus sized by including that information in your bio. You have already been on dates with multiple men who ended up ghosting you after the dates based on not knowing that you were plus sized before they met you.

Although you have full body pictures in your bio that clearly show that you are plus size, you should give yourself an extra layer of protection by also including the information that you are plus sized in your bio.

Some guys don’t look through all the pictures on a dating profile. They use your primary picture as their quick eye test in deciding whether to like your profile or not, before moving on to other potential matches.

Why keep putting yourself in situations where you are having really great conversation with a guy only to have him ghost you after discovering that you are plus size upon meeting you in person?

It isn’t worth it.

If you are worried that you won’t be able to get the attention of any man if you were to add that you are plus size in your bio, don’t be. There are lots of men on dating sites who will date plus size women.

Instead of waiting for these men to message you or match with you, you can get more proactive. If the dating site has a search option, conduct searches for men who are seeking plus size women or who have plus size women as one of the options for the woman that they would want to match with.

If you are having trouble finding men like this on the dating site that you are currently using, there are other dating sites that are specifically designed to cater to plus size people. You can look into dating sites like these.

Let this really cute guy that wants to meet up with you on a dinner date tonight know that you are plus size before meeting up. It shows that you have respect for yourself and for his time. You can’t trick a guy who isn’t into plus size women into liking you simply because you have been having good conversations with him on a dating site.

Those good conversations were predicated upon their understanding that you were of the right size in terms of what they are attracted to. In your 5 failed dates, those guys most likely thought you were slim or fit.

It is so much better to dedicate your time and energy on a guy who is interested in you, knowing full well that you are plus size, than on a guy who doesn’t know that you are plus size but you are hoping will continue to like you upon meeting you in person.

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