Hi Emily,
He never really took the notion of marriage very seriously. He led you to believe that he did. But in the end, he never truly showed the signs of a person who wanted to get married.
He was already demonstrating this very early in the relationship. You just chose not to take it seriously because you were so hopeful that he would be the one.
This wasn’t the fault of online dating. You just happened to meet a man who was looking to use you for as long as he could.
Many men do this because they are still emotionally attached to someone else. That is why he would never tell you that he loved you. The idea of flirting with you was also a bridge too far.
Some men experience such a psychological downturn from a previous relationship that it keeps them from wanting to get playful and flirt. It is easier to be serious. This way, he never has to start something he can’t finish.
Again, don’t blame online dating for this and give up on it. There are many men on dating sites who are truly looking for marriage and commitment. You just have to learn how to filter out the men who are serious from the men who are stringing you along.
If you don’t hear the words, “I love you,” after dating each other for a few months, that’s a sign. If he doesn’t make regular plans to see you and take you out on dates, that’s another sign. If he doesn’t open himself up to you and share information that isn’t only private but also sensitive, that is another sign.
Your instincts were already telling you that this guy was wrong, but you chose to ignore them because you had developed feelings for him. Always acknowledge your instincts. Oftentimes, they are trying to warn you about something that is truly an issue and must be addressed immediately.