Been on five dates with a guy from a dating app who doesn’t text in-between dates and it is driving me nuts?

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    I am a twenty-eight year old female that met a guy on a dating app who is also twenty-eight years old a few weeks ago. We saw each other almost every week barring one of us being out of town.

    At first, I was always the one who would take the initiative to make contact. He only started taking the initiative to ask me out when I stopped making suggestions because I got sick of being the one who always took the initiative.

    We have fooled around a bit but are yet to have sex.

    Overall, I do like this guy as he’s friendly, soft-spoken, and a very decent person. But what drives me nuts is that he never bothers to text me in-between dates. The only time he does is when he is trying to set up another date.

    He is actually quite responsive to my texts, but he never initiates texts and now I’m wondering whether this is a sign that he’s lukewarm about this whole thing. I understand that we’ve only been on a few dates so far but this radio silence in-between dates seems a bit strange to me.

    Should I give him the benefit of the doubt or just move on from him?



    Hi Angela,

    Not surprised that this guy that you met on a dating app is driving you nuts. After five dates, there is really no excuse for him not be initiating contact with you in-between dates.

    Given that he does take the initiative to contact whenever you get sick of initiating contact and making suggestions, it would work in your favor to pull back.

    Being the one who always initiates contact in-between dates for the most part has spoiled him. He is leaving it to you to initiate because you have made him feel as though you are going to do it anyway.

    You need to make him start doing some work in contributing equally. Take a step back from initiating contact in-between dates. Let him be the one to start reaching out to you first from here on out. He has already shown a propensity to do this whenever you get sick of making suggestions and back off. Do more of this.

    The conversations must be about a lot more than just setting up another date. If all he does is initiate contact in order to set up another date, tell him that you would rather the both of you get to learn more about each other before going on another date with him.

    This should make him start putting out a lot more effort in his conversations with you so as to earn another opportunity to meet up with you on a date.

    Make him chase you. Make him do some work. Do this first before moving on.

    If he demonstrates a consistent willingness to initiate contact with you in-between dates over a sustained period of time, you may have a keeper.

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