How to initiate a FWB conversation with someone you started seeing off of a dating app?

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    I’ve had conversations with a Bumble match for about a month and met him on two occasions.

    I reached a point where I realized that I was open to having a fwb(friends with benefits) relationship with him, as I wasn’t entirely certain that he was a good candidate for a long-term relationship.

    Before our first meeting, we both talked about our openness to whatever type of relationship develops with an understanding that we were both leaning more so toward the casual type of relationship.

    As of yet, we haven’t kissed nor have we had discussions about where our relationship is going. Is it too soon for me to inform him about my interest in pursuing a fwb type of relationship with him? If it isn’t, how can I initiate a conversation about this? I would prefer talking about this over text than doing so in person.



    Hi Ella,

    It isn’t too soon to initiate a conversation about a fwb relationship with your Bumble match. You have both already talked about how you would both prefer a casual relationship. He knows where your mind is at.

    As long as a fwb relationship is truly what you want with this guy and you aren’t harboring the hope that a fwb relationship develops into something more serious and long term, you should let him know about what you want.

    It is always better to have conversations like this in person. It makes it easier for the both of you to really hash out the terms of how to go about this in a way that respects both of your boundaries without anything getting lost in translation.

    Something getting lost in translation is what you run the risk of experiencing if you were to text him instead. However, since you would much rather do it by text, the best way to initiate this kind of conversation is to just be straightforward about it.

    Straightforwardness is often what guys understand and respect the most. If you use ambiguous sentences in the hopes that he gets what it is that you are trying to tell him, you run the risk of making him either not understand what you are texting him or not take you seriously.

    Just be straightforward in letting him know that you want to pursue a fwb relationship and that if he is fine with that, you would like to talk about some of the logistics about how you can both go about making a relationship like this work and what the boundaries are.

    That’s really it.

    You are both adults. Set the rules and stick to them.

    The fwb relationships that tend to fail are the ones where there was never an honest conversation about logistics, expectations and boundaries beforehand.

    Having this type of conversation puts both of you in a position where you both know what you are getting into and can both feel secure that the feeling and understanding is mutual.

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