How to tell him that we aren’t a good match?

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  • #61934

    Mary
    Participant

    I met a guy for coffee that I met on Bumble. This is the first guy that I have met in person through online dating. He was a nice guy and the conversation went well. He looked a lot older than he appeared on his dating profile, but he wasn’t lying about his true age. His dating profile photos are just dated. I am not attracted to him. I am not feeling it and I know that I don’t want to just ghost him. How do I politely tell him that I don’t want to pursue things further?

    #61935

    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Mary,

    Not everyone is going to connect when they meet in real life. This is par for the course in online dating. Chemistry on a dating app doesn’t always translate to real life chemistry. You cannot force yourself to feel something that you don’t. Even though the conversation went well on the date, a lack of attraction makes the possibility of developing real life chemistry with someone that much harder. Just be honest and tell him that you didn’t feel a romantic connection on the date and that you wish him the best. Honesty is the best policy. The more clear you are, the easier it will be for him to understand and move on. It was a good match on paper but not in real life. He is an adult. He can handle it. Most men would much rather a woman be upfront and honest with them about how they really feel as opposed to sending an ambiguous message. Being straightforward helps them process quicker and they are able to move on.

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