I approached a woman who works at my local store

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Luke 3 years, 11 months ago.

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    Gavin Sanghera

    I’ve seen this woman who works at my local store for a few weeks, she seems pretty quiet and shy but she was cute.

    She has seen me multiple times in the past shopping in the store and even smiled at me once and seemed somewhat nervous around me.

    On this particular encounter when I tried striking up a full-blown conversation before writing my number down, she did not seem very responsive but maybe this was perhaps due to her shyness.

    I decided I was gonna ask her out whilst she was working at the store.

    She didn’t seem to talk much or anything.

    We made some small talk, I asked for a receipt and a pen and wrote down my number and asked her to text me. Granted I was very nervous at the time and could have been smoother/more enthusiastic.

    She completely froze up and never said anything. When she caught my eye she immediately looked away. She seemed very nervous and unsure/creeped out.

    It was very awkward, I just looked her in the eyes, smiled and walked off.

    I will never go into that store again due to the awkwardness.

    I’m a pretty attractive guy and tall and I was calm and collected and acted natural.

    Was this a normal response from a shy/timid girl or did I just come across creepy? Hell is it even acceptable to approach women at work?


    Gavin Sanghera

    How do I proceed from this? Is it worth catching her again and getting an answer? granted she never texted but in retrospect, a shy/nervous girl is unlikely to text first and she might have felt awkward after the encounter.



    Hi Gavin,

    It would be unlikely that you came across as creepy to this woman that you approached at your local store, as long as you were relatively confident in how you went about doing it.

    If anything, she was most likely really surprised that you had written your number down on the receipt and asked her to text you.

    Most girls, especially when they are at work can easily feel uncomfortable when a customer makes a pass at them.

    Whether the girl is confident or shy, she may react in the same way this particular girl did.

    Freeze up. Not say anything. Look away. Become nervous.

    Besides the likelihood that she either wasn’t attracted to you or already has a boyfriend, she may have never texted you afterward because of the manner in which you went about making a pass at her and how awkward and uneasy that made her feel.

    When most girls are working, they are not thinking about connecting with a customer romantically.

    They are just focused on work.

    Hence, if a customer were to make a pass at them, they may become incredibly unsure of what to do.

    Oftentimes, the way a girl responds to being approached at work depends on what kind of work she does.

    Girls who work at places like bars or restaurants are used to guys hitting on them.

    Hence, they would already know how to handle that situation with confidence.

    However, a girl who works at a local store would not often be all that experienced in how to handle a situation where a customer is making a pass at her.

    As a result, she may respond with a lot of uneasiness.

    Whether it is acceptable to approach women at their work often depends on how you go about doing it.

    Sometimes, it may be best to build a rapport with the female worker first and get her to feel comfortable with you before choosing to make a pass at her.

    Spending some time building this kind of rapport will often make her feel a lot more at ease with you, being that she feels as though she knows you.

    This helps to prevent that “creepy” feeling that you experienced when you wrote your number down on the receipt and asked her to text you.

    A good way to proceed with this is to use time to your advantage.

    She felt really awkward when you made your move.

    If you try to catch her again in order to get an answer, you may make her feel even more awkward as she wouldn’t want to be put on the spot.

    Girls don’t like to be confronted in this manner, especially at work.

    Let things die down a little.

    Create some distance between you and this incident over the course of a few weeks.

    At this point, if you still feel the need to talk to her, you can return to the local store.

    However, this time around, you should tell her that you didn’t mean to put her on the spot when you wrote your number down and asked her to text you.

    Properly introduce yourself and ask her about some item in the local store that you are interested in.

    This is how you begin the process of lowering her guard and making her feel more comfortable with you.

    From here, you could visit the local store semi-regularly, be polite in greeting her, briefly talk about something to do with your day and wish her a good day.

    In time, she may get comfortable enough with you that she starts referencing you by name and even asks you something in reference to what you told her the last time that you talked to her.

    By building rapport with her in this way, you may soon find an opportunity to ask her out directly. However, this time, she would be prepared for it and may just say yes.


    Gavin Sanghera

    Hi, Luke an update,

    I have had no reason to go back into the store yet however I saw her this afternoon whilst I was walking down a path.

    I stopped to check my phone, I looked up and could faintly see her from a distance, I did not intentionally walk that direction as I was going to walk that way anyway.

    As I had my phone out, I started walking that direction, I couldn’t tell it was her from a distance but upon closer inspection, it was obvious this was the girl.

    However, when I came closer to her she immediately kneeled and started adjusting her dog’s collar for a long time.

    Its almost as if it was done on purpose. I continued walking passed her (I do not think she knew that I had recognized her).

    Is this a sign of disinterest? or could it simply mean that she was too nervous/shy to look me in the eye?



    Hi Gavin,

    She may not have even known that you were walking on the same path.

    You may be reading too much into what she did.

    Perhaps she was having a difficult time adjusting her dog’s collar for a genuine reason.

    Her behavior doesn’t really indicate that she was showing signs of disinterest.

    Again, she may not have even known that you were walking on the same path.

    In essence, she may have been totally oblivious to your presence.

    This may have been why she did not look you in the eye.

    Though she may naturally be a shy and nervous person around people that she isn’t familiar or friendly with, in this particular occasion, she probably just didn’t see you.

    You may be reading too much into what happened.

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