Is she too young for me?

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Luke 3 weeks, 6 days ago.

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  • #39278 Reply

    Jeremy
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    Hello,

    I’m not trying to get myself too ahead or anything but I met a girl the other day who I became really interested about, possibly the most interest I had towards anybody before. When we talked, we didn’t discuss or ages but we exchanged numbers and got a positive vibe from her. I did a little research of her since I have a friend who’s close friends with one of her friends. I found out that she’s 20 yrs old, I just turned 27. I believe she was born in November so basically I’m around 6 yrs and 10 months older than her.

    We both have similar interest. We were basketball players and are still engaged in basketball in various ways, it’s one of our main passions. We both enjoy the same sports. She’s into fitness and weightlifting (her brother and her dad are trainers). Fitness and health are priorities to me, I’m very into it too. We both enjoy similar music, certain specific sports to watch like MMA which is rare with women. She’s perfect on paper to me. One thing that stood out was the I had seen her months before I met her at the church I go to. She seems to be religious and we both share the same beliefs and family core values which is something significant to me (although we didn’t talk about any of this) but I think it’s a big plus.

    Overall, we both have enough significant things in common, to me on paper she’s the perfect girl. The only issue that concerns me is that I’m almost 7 yrs older than her. I asked her friend if she had an opinion regarding the age and she said that her mom is almost 6 yrs older than her dad, so maybe this girl might not see the age difference as too much since she’s use to her parents being almost 5-6 yrs older than each other, despite the mother being the older one.

    She’s finishing college in a town near by and will be moving back home in a year. She’s always in town though since she’s close. Is the age difference too much? I was willing to build a sort of friendship so she could get to know our similarities and possibly when she finishes college maybe I could make a move? If age isn’t a problem since I’ll probably be 28 by then and she’ll be 21

    #39282 Reply

    Luke
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    Hi Jeremy,

    You are the only one who can determine whether a 7 year age difference is too young for you.

    You are the only one who gets to physically and psychologically experience what it is like when you are around her.

    If you are normally overwhelmed with a sense of discomfort due to the age difference, this is something that you have to take into considerable account.

    If the common interests and core values that you both share are suddenly forgotten in these moments, this 7 year age difference may be a major problem for you and something that could truly impede you from being yourself whenever you are interacting with her.

    If you try to build a sort of friendship with her in the hopes that you can make a move on her after she finishes college and is a little bit older, you may end up becoming a friend to her and nothing more.

    If you actually want her, you should go for her wholeheartedly. If you don’t, someone else will and you will lose your opportunity.

    #39285 Reply

    Jeremy
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    Thanks for the response!

    I completely agree with you. Speaking in general, do you know if women usually are open to dating guys within this age range? I’ve only dated women a year or two younger in the past, which is why I doubt myself and think she might think I’m too old. I’m not too familiar with women in their 20s dating guys 5-7 years older. Is it common?

    Last thing, if a woman is really into someone, is it true that they’ll break rules to be with them? For example a woman might have rules for a guy she has mid interest, but she’ll break those barriers for someone she’s really attracted to?

    I appreciate your input.

    #39286 Reply

    Luke
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    Hi Jeremy,

    Yes, women are open to dating guys within this age range.

    Women in their early 20s in particular may be attracted to men who are relatively older because they have only recently come out of their teenage years where they most likely dated guys who didn’t measure up to them in terms of maturity or even direction.

    Keeping this in mind, it is not uncommon for women in their 20s to choose to date guys who are 5-7 years older than them.

    Yes, it is true that a woman can break her own rules if she is really into someone. This often happens because of life experience.

    As a woman matures, the same rules she once had and has tried to hold onto may start wilting as she is exposed to more and more different kinds of people.

    #39287 Reply

    Jeremy
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    Hi Luke,

    Thank you for your advice, It definitely cleared my thoughts regarding the situation.

    Sorry to bother but I just have one more question. You mentioned that taking the friends first approach can possibly make her see me just as a friend eventually.

    Why is this not a good approach and why would it lead to the friendzone most of the times? I’ve felt for this before and felt in the friend zone.

    #39289 Reply

    Luke
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    Hi Jeremy,

    The friends first approach when you actually already know that you would rather be with her romantically could lead to you playing it very safe with her because you want so badly for her to eventually like you romantically.

    Doing this could lead to her becoming so comfortable with you that she just can’t imagine you as anything other than a good friend.

    That mindset is often what kills any chance at romance with her.

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