My (25f) close male friend (26m) is distancing away from after his breakup

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    Ina Karina

    My close male friend whom I met 2 years ago is pulling away from me all of a sudden and I found out the reason through a mutual friend. He broke up with his girlfriend 3 months ago and since that we talk less and hang out less. Significantly less I must say. This guy also had feelings for me 3 years ago but I was liking someone else at that time so we decided to be friends. Turned out we were very good friends until he decided not to have me anymore in his life. Well, as a human, who wouldn’t be hurt and get anxious when someone who took a big space of your life is slowly disappearing? I try approaching him by texting how he is doing and ask to hang out. He always replies 2-3 days later and sometimes he would turn down my invitation. He wasn’t this kind of person before. I cannot even ask him what’s wrong because he is less available. I still can see in instagram that he’s tagging his colleagues on memes so it doesn’t seem like he’s distancing himself from people in general.

    Then a mutual friend (26F) who has known him since years told me that he’s scared he might get attached with me. According to her, he thinks that if we hung out alone too often, he would might want to sleep with me and he doesn’t want me to feel he’s using me as a rebound IF something between us developed. The sad part of this is I don’t hear this directly from him as he’s really difficult to reach right now. I am now single and I consider him as my rock as he’s been always there for me all this time. So if he ever told me that we should go further, without any doubt I would say yes. I would be also content for us going back to our normal friendship state. Does this happen to guys? I don’t understand The confusing part is that he only wants to meet me for a very short coffee meetups and only happened 2-3 times after he broke up. We meet up always after his work so he’s in his tired state and we don’t even have a long chat in the end. It really saddens me. Even if I ask him what’s wrong, he would only say his work is mind-numbing and have stuff to think about. I just wish he gives me the opportunity to listen what’s in his mind directly from him. He’s movin out the country soon so I really wanted to create more memories with him before he’s gone. I suggested we should go for a picnic but declines because he’s tired. Then I found out from a friend’s instagram story where he went hiking with some people. I feel really hurt by his action. Is his behaviour understandable? Why is he acting as if I will be breaking his heart if we start a relationship? He knows I will always be there for him as we were to each other. 3 months after a breakup isn’t long, but not too short to start a new relationship. Should I ask him out?

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