My online boyfriend confessed that he is married, what should I do?

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Luke 3 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #62133

    Amelia
    Participant

    He is a guy that I met online and we have been dating virtually for the last 3 months. We have sexted each other as well. I met him during lockdown and haven’t had a chance to to meet him in person. I have learned a lot about him as a person. Yesterday, he confessed that he got married 2 years ago and has been separated from his wife for about a year and also has a 1 year old daughter. He was apologetic. I haven’t spoken to him since yesterday. I don’t want to date him anymore, but I was wondering if it’s alright to let him stay my friend and continue talking to him casually? Or should I block him entirely? He is a nice person overall, and I’m thankful to him that he let me know all this beforehand, instead of meeting me in person without me having this information. Will it be a mistake to keep him as friend since he’s married and on the verge of getting a divorce? What should I do?

    #62134

    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Amelia,

    He was fully aware that he was married when he met you online and started dating you virtually for the last 3 months. He was misleading you on purpose. That is never a good characteristic in a person.

    If you were to keep him in your life as a friend with the intent of only talking to him casually, at some point in time, you could easily be misled into thinking that you should start dating him again.

    It was this easy for him to mislead you for 3 months, who’s to say that he wouldn’t find a way to make you believe that he has divorced his wife and wants you to give him another chance at dating?

    The point here is, he cannot be trusted. Stay away from married men online. They can make you believe whatever they think you want to hear just so that they can keep you around. They will communicate with you for sustained periods of time until you become so emotionally attached to them that you just can’t let go, even when you know you should.

    Friendships come about through honesty. Trust is not only important in romantic relationships but friendships as well. Given how your relationship with this married man began, with lies and dishonesty about his relationship status, he would not be a good person to keep as a friend. He can’t be trusted. You should block him entirely and move forward with your life.

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