Need help , i hope you’ll read my little story

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Luke 3 years, 10 months ago.

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    Mouh momo

    I’m a student at the university , and the Thursday before the last one , i’ve seen a cute girl at the bus and she sees me too , so she starts looking at me and playing with her hair and smiling and touchs me with her legs because she was setting in front of me , i was little nervous so i just smile to her and didn’t talk to her at moment, so it takes me another week until Thursday to go and talk to her , i said to her that i saw you last Thursday and that i like you , she smiles and said that she has a boyfriend , what should i do ? Should i give up on her ? Or maybe say something else to her ? Because the first thursday she makes me feel that she likes me
    PS: i can only see her on Thursday



    Hi Mouh,

    Yes, you should give up on her.

    She told you that she has a boyfriend.

    There is nothing else to be said.

    Even though, on the Thursday before last, she made you feel as though she liked you because she was looking at you, playing with her hair, smiling and touched you with her legs, she still has a boyfriend.

    This means that she is not emotionally available to you.

    Sometimes, a girl can show a guy a lot of signs of interest.

    However, if she is in a relationship, those signs are merely temporary and of the moment.

    There is still someone that she thinks about a lot more deeply and that would be her boyfriend.

    It is best to not hold out any hope with this girl.

    She is just not available to you.



    Hi. There’s a guy I met in the gym 3 yrs ago. He keeps on staring at me. We click really well and became more than friends in 3-4 months. (He also said that he’s shy). After that I confessed him but he said he’s not ready. But we were still close. Suddenly after 11 months (since we met) he just cuts contact with me. And I try to find out the reason reaching out to his friends and after few days contacting (on phone) him but talking like just friends. Last yr we talked for 2-3 times in a yr, he also showed some interest by unlocking me and looking at my stories and this year he contacted me (thru fb msg) and he denies that he msgd me. He also said that he isn’t interested in me. But he still stares at me in the gym. He deeply friend has also noticed this. Is he hiding his feelings for me? He is quite contradictory when it comes to his actions and words coordination. What do I do? I have a gut feeling that he is hiding something from himself (mostly that he has feelings for me but doesn’t show/express).



    Hi Anni,

    Indeed he may be hiding his feelings from you.

    However, his feelings may be really conflicted.

    There may be a romantic interest from his past of whom he is still emotionally attached to.

    This may have been why he told you that he wasn’t ready when you confessed to him.

    On the one hand, he has shown that he is attracted to you by staring at you constantly in the gym.

    However, on the other hand, he has shown that he is hesitant in developing any kind of romantic relationship with you through the way he cut off contact with you after 11 months of knowing you and how he stated that he only sent you a message on Facebook by mistake.

    He may be worried about the potential for being hurt if he were to get into a romantic relationship with you.

    But that notwithstanding, there is still a part of him that doesn’t want to let you go entirely and wants to keep you in his life in some capacity.

    The best thing to do at this stage is take a step back.

    You are always the one reaching out to him.

    You need to stop that.

    Avoid eye contact with him at the gym.

    Whenever you stare back at him when he looks at you, you are showing him that you still care.

    Hence, he just feels like he can continue acting in the same way he has.

    You need to give him a sense that you are moving on and not really going to be receptive to the way he stares at you in the gym.

    If you start avoiding eye contact with him at the gym and become friendly with more guys at the gym, he will notice it.

    This will most likely scare him into thinking that you are moving on from him.

    He will realize that he will not be able to eat his cake and have it too by constantly giving you mixed signals.

    This is often what will force a guy to act by either deciding to go for the girl or just ditch the games and move on.

    Either way, you would put an end to his confusing behavior.



    It’s been a long time I have discontinued to maintain eye contact with him. (I or my friend just notice it every now and then.) Also, I have few male friends whom I talk to when he’s around (sometimes it feels like he’s jealous too.)

    When I talked to him 3 days ago, I conveyed persistence if my feelings for him and that I couldn’t forget him over these 2 yrs. And said that I’ll move on if you say so. That’s when he said he’s not interested. But there’s still contradictions in his actions (stares at gym) and words.
    I can wait for him to realise that he has feelings for me. But how long should I wait?

    We have always supported each other in past to fulfill our own career goals (despite having around 9yrs of age gap, we were very understanding and caring), etc (And I still support him/ his opinion, if he wants time to settle, etc.) If so, I’ll focus on my career too for around 3-4 yrs.
    Do you think he might realise in 3-4 yrs from now? And he would come back to me?



    He is elder to me.



    Hi Anni,

    It is unlikely that he might realize that he has feelings for you in 3-4 years and come back to you.

    You have already known him for 11 months.

    If he was going to realize and accept his feelings for you, he would have done it by now.

    It is best not to wait on him.



    There’s a powerful gut feeling I have that this is going to work. But for that he needs to solve his confusion of emotions. Can you please tell me, What should I do to get him back?
    (I want him to respect and love me like he never did before. I want him to know my value and him to treat me the way I deserve to be treated.)



    It is best not to focus on trying to get him back.

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