Should I reach out to a guy that I met on a dating app?

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    I talked to this guy on a dating app, Coffee Meets Bagel, for a few days and due to safety concerns I had to mention that I was not comfortable with meeting a stranger in the city. Afterward, he convinced me to keep communicating through text, and so we did. We arranged a date last week.

    Less than three hours before our date… I had a frightening experience that required that I call security to escort me to my car while in the process of running errand. As a result of this incident, I was frightened. This led to me canceling my date with the guy and telling him that I wasn’t comfortable with meeting up. I didn’t get into details as to the reason why. At that point, I deleted the dating app, Coffee Meets Bagel, due to my safety concerns.

    It seems like I am still interested in this guy. He did give me his number. Do I reach out to him again or leave it alone? I am thinking about inviting him to a dinner that I fully pay for as a treat to him, where he can order anything he wants, whether it be dessert, drinks, etc., to make up for canceling on him. Opinions?



    Hi Amy,

    Yes, you should reach out to this guy. When you cancelled on the date without giving him a reason, he could have easily thought that the issue was him. He may have thought that he did something to turn you off.

    The both of you were getting along before the cancellation. He even convinced you to keep texting him after you informed him that you weren’t comfortable with meeting a stranger from a dating app in the city. He clearly wanted to see where things would lead. The fact that you are thinking about reaching out to him shows that you clearly liked some or a lot of what you learned about him.

    It would be to your advantage to reach out instead of leaving this alone. The sooner you do, the better. The cancellation is still fresh and he may still be holding out hope to hear from you. If you wait too long to reach out, he could find someone else on the dating app that he connects with and you could lose any chance at getting him to give you another opportunity.

    The idea of inviting him to dinner to make up for the cancellation is a good one. It shows that you are truly remorseful and you are putting your money where your mouth is in trying to make it up to him. Don’t wait on this one. Message him now.

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