Should I still go out on a date with him when he has previously bailed on tentative plans?

Home Forums Dating Should I still go out on a date with him when he has previously bailed on tentative plans?

This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Luke 2 weeks, 2 days ago.

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  • #61946

    Patricia
    Participant

    I’m new to online dating, I was single for about 4 years and have been actively online dating for a few months. I am a 35 year old female who matched with a 44 year old guy recently. We connected and he asked for my number and we started texting and he eventually asked to meet up. I told him I was free Friday and he told me he would let me know if Friday would work for him. We continued to flirt and text the rest of the week and he continued to express his interest in meeting me over and over again. So Friday arrives and I don’t hear from him at all and then I don’t hear from him at all the entire weekend. It was Memorial Day weekend so I let it be. I decided to text him today and ask him what happened because it was just baffling. He replied back almost immediately and was apologetic. He stated that he had been sick all weekend and was only starting to feel better today. He assured me he had not lost interest in any way and asked if we could meet up this week. For me, if I had gotten sick and had tentative plans I would have reached out to inform him about it or at the very least would have said something afterward. I am torn about how I feel about this. Part of me still wants to meet him but another part of me says something isn’t right here and I wanted to ask for some advice before moving forward.

    #61950

    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Patricia,

    Although you are new to online dating, experiences like this are helpful in getting you to form the good habit of tempering your expectations so that you don’t get carried away with any one guy too prematurely.

    It is suspicious that he never let you know about Friday. You had to contact him after the fact to get an explanation. He didn’t even have the common courtesy to contact you to explain himself.

    If you hadn’t contacted him about not hearing from him on Friday and throughout the weekend, there is a chance that he wouldn’t have set up another date with you.

    When suspicious behavior like this happens, it’s normally because something better came along that he couldn’t pass up. It could have been another date that he was more interested in attending.

    He isn’t entirely sure just how well that date went and now he has made yet another tentative plan to meet up with you this week so as to keep his options open.

    A man who is truly interested in seeing you wouldn’t have forgotten about Friday.

    Although part of you still wants to meet him, be careful. You aren’t his first option. Make sure that you are also keeping your dating options open by going out on dates with other men that you are meeting on the dating site.

    This week, the onus is on him to make this date happen. You should avoid trying to reach out to keep him aware of the date. If he truly wants to meet you, he will remember and plan something out.

    Meanwhile, keep yourself open to meeting other dates this week. They should be your priority. If you aren’t this guy’s priority, he certainly shouldn’t be yours.

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