When it comes to my dating experiences with dating apps, I am left feeling angry, defeated and frustrated?

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Luke 1 week, 1 day ago.

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  • #62036

    Amber
    Participant

    I’m so frustrated and fed up of this. I waste several precious weeks of my life talking to guys on dating apps, going on first dates, second dates, even going on third dates only to eventually have these guys lose interest and slowly fade away. I’m sick of it. It makes me feel like the single reason they went out with me to start with was to keep me as an option, and I’m never the one they truly want to be with or get to know. I’m so sick of wasting my precious time on these guys. I’m so sick of getting excited about someone only to have them lose interest without any valid reason or justifiable explanation.

    #62038

    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Amber,

    I understand your frustration. You are not the only one who has been left feeling angry and defeated when it comes to their dating experiences with dating apps.

    Dating apps have provided people with a lot of options when it comes to dating. Unfortunately, if you don’t blow away many of these guys on the first one, two or three dates that you go on with them, it is much too easy for them to seek out someone else on the dating app. There is just too much choice.

    To combat this, you need to make sure that you have multiple dating options of your own that you are going on active dates with. If you attach yourself to only one guy at a time, believing that he is the one, he can easily ditch you, even if you make it to the third date with him.

    Having a few other guys that you are meeting on dates allows you to maximize the efficiency of your time and make the most of it. This way, you always avoid being left completely empty-handed if a date loses interest in you at some point soon after the second or third date.

    Given the repetitiveness of your dating experiences with guys that you are meeting on dating apps, you should also think about what you may be doing on some of these dates.

    First dates that don’t result in a second isn’t something unusual. It happens all the time when you are meeting someone for the first time in person. The chemistry that you both shared on the dating app doesn’t always persist when you meet each other in person.

    However, you have been on second and third dates which ultimately led to these guys slowly fading away. Getting to these consequent dates clearly showed that something went right in the first date.

    Think about how you behaved on the first date and the time spent communicating in-between and compare that with how you behaved on the second and third dates, as well as the time spent communicating in-between those dates. If you discover that there were some noticeable changes in behavior, think about making corrections to that.

    You did mention that you get excited about some of these guys. That could be the problem. When you go on second and third dates with them, you could be trying too hard because you are just so excited about them.

    This means that you are sharing a bit too much about yourself too prematurely and probably asking them questions or making statements that are a bit too personal too early. You just get so carried away that you are already acting as though you are in an exclusive relationship with them.

    This overzealous behavior can easily chase guys away. Remember how you behaved on that first date. You weren’t so crazy about spilling everything about yourself, you left a lot out. Be that again. Have some restraint when you realize that you are beginning to get excited about a guy. Leave some mystery to you.

    If you show everything on the first few dates, you leave nothing for them to discover. Allow them to chase you. It’s too early to start initiating the majority of the messages or pressing to see them again. Remember that you are the prize. Let him pursue you.

    Exercising restraint and maintaining an air of mystery about you is very effective in getting guys to remain interested and stick around.

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