Why did things go sour with this guy?

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Luke 3 years, 6 months ago.

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    I was speaking with someone from tinder, we spoke on the phone earlier this week for a few hours and played ps4 on Thursday. He’s been texting consistently up until today. On Wed, I told him I was available to play, there wasn’t a set time but he kept me waiting for 3 hrs. He apologized & even had his friend msg me to explain. Apparently monopoly went longer than expected.

    Things were going well imo, yesterday he asked if I enjoy cuddling while watching a movie. He said it was a general statement & I think he was under the impression that I thought he was flirting. Then he was defensive, saying we barely know each other & wouldn’t ask that. His tone turned me off & I removed him from IG & Snapchat.

    He msgs me shortly on PlayStation, asking why I removed him & said he wasn’t being defensive. Asking what he did wrong now & wanted to clear the air. I msged him this morning back but he’s online playing and hasn’t responded. He was flirty earlier in the week then yesterday was defensive & now ghosting me. If I don’t hear back from him tomorrow, I am blocking him from ever contacting me again on any platform.




    He msged me last night letting me know that he liked me & thought we were both acting trivial. And does not get why I thought I turned him off. 🙄



    Hi Amanda,

    He may have started getting defensive because he was worried about giving off the impression that he liked you too soon.

    He wanted to play it cool but in the process ended up coming off as defensive.

    He messaged you last night because he wanted to come clean about liking you.

    However, you are dealing with a guy who has some insecurities when it comes to expressing his feelings and being open with them.

    This means that his behavior could become more and more erratic as time goes on as he tries to keep himself in check when he should be allowing the process of interacting with you flow naturally.



    Does it sound like he’s toying me around or/and doesn’t know what he wants?



    It doesn’t sound like he is toying with you.

    However, to some extent, he may not know what he wants at this time.

    He knows that he likes you.

    He just doesn’t know whether he likes you enough to make sacrifices with his time, hobbies and other responsibilities.

    In other words, he doesn’t know whether he likes you enough to make you a priority.



    What makes you think that he is unsure of what he wants or may just not be into me?



    Erratic behavior and defensiveness is often an indicator that a guy is unsure of what he wants.

    A guy who is unsure of what he wants will often second-guess himself.

    He will push and pull.

    Initially, he was texting you consistently and then he stopped being as consistent after he asked you whether you enjoyed cuddling while watching a movie.

    He also became defensive, telling you that it was just a general statement as the both of you barely know each other.

    He has also kept you waiting for several hours to play with him online and has done the same when it came to responding to a recent message that you sent him.

    He has gone from being consistently flirty with you to being guarded and aloof.

    Again, this kind of erratic behavior and defensiveness is often an indicator that a guy is unsure of what he wants.

    As far as being into you or not, he has shown that he is into you enough to flirt with you but he hasn’t been consistent in his behavior.

    Meaning that he has moments where he wants to just let himself go and be expressive, this is when he is flirty with you.

    But, he has other moments where he just wants to be left alone, this is when he has taken hours to play with you online or respond to a message that you sent.

    This is where he is demonstrating his uncertainty about making you a priority in his life or not.

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