You aren’t alone in not having found someone on dating apps in 5 months.

The average person on dating apps takes 6 months to a year to find someone.

Online dating is a numbers game.

It surges and sputters.

Two people get together and there is a surge of excitement.

A few dates later, everything sputters out, as they learn more about each other and realize that they aren’t as compatible as they thought.

Rinse and repeat.

On average you need to meet 5 to 25 people before finding that special someone who has long-lasting chemistry with you.

It’s not just about numbers.

It’s about you too.

Are you giving people a chance?

As advantageous as online dating is in finding a partner, it has a profound side effect on some people.

The side effect of the never-ending quest to find the perfect match. It’s so tempting to fall into this labyrinthian trap.

You meet someone who is a good match and you have a great time going out on multiple dates with the person.

Not long after meeting this person, you are matched with someone who looks better.

You go out on dates with this new person too.

Soon, you are caught up in this new person and ditch the old one that you were getting along with.

This new person lasts a few weeks until they decide that you aren’t good enough. They wind up doing what you did to the last person you were going out with, in ditching you.

The cycle repeats itself.

This is what a number people who are stuck on dating apps are susceptible to.

The “shiny object syndrome.”

This is where a new object distracts you, making you believe that the grass is greener on the other side.

So you abandon someone you were having good dates with, building rapport with, for that new shiny object.

Bedazzled with this new person’s good looks and engrossing photos, you went after them or welcomed their advances.

You get preoccupied with this new person, while ignoring the other person’s phone calls.

Inevitably, the other person moves on and stops calling.

This new shiny object bedazzles you for a few weeks until the romance hits a wall and you are back to zero.

Watch your behavior.

Don’t get sucked into believing that the next person is always better.

It’s one thing to date a few people at a time to see who has the best chemistry with you.

This makes sense.

It’s something else to purposely abandon a good situation with someone you were having good chemistry with, believing that the match you recently received, with his piercing blue eyes, six pack abs and glisteningly white teeth, is better for you.

No match is flawless nor infallible.

Getting turned off by little idiosyncrasies or imperfections in people you meet when they otherwise demonstrated desirable qualities, is the wrong strategy.

Doing this puts you in jeopardy of falling for the shiny object.

Unfortunately, once the new shiny object is done with you, your old dates aren’t exactly waiting for you to come back to them.

They have moved on and you have to start from scratch with a new match.

This is a failing strategy that leaves you stuck on a dating app for a lot more than 5 months.

Think, years.