Online Dating: After Our Third Date, Why Was It A Deal Breaker When I Turned Her Down For Sex?

Online Dating: After Our Third Date, Why Was It A Deal Breaker When I Turned Her Down For Sex?

She was ready to have sex with you.

It was after the third date.

At this point in time, she felt secure with you and knew that she was attracted to you enough to want to have sex with you.

She had you drop her off at her place, but she already knew that she was going to be inviting you in.

She was hoping that this would be your chance to make moves on her.

She tried to be as appealing as she could while you were at her place.

You noticed her getting physically close to you, even touching you.

At some point, she even offered beverages to try to loosen you up.

She wanted to have sex with you.

She already knew that if the third date went well, she was going to invite you into her home when you dropped her off.

There was a lot of expectation before that third date.

She was already envisioning what it would be like to have sex with you.

The third date was great.

This only made her anticipation even stronger.

In her experience, guys simply don’t turn her down for sex after a third date and an invite into her home.

After all that anticipation that built up through dates one through three, she was certain that you were just as ready to have sex with her as she was with you.

When you turned her down, she felt a number of emotions that ultimately led to her realization that your refusal to have sex with her was her deal breaker.

It starts with surprise.

Surely, you can’t be serious.

With so many first dates in online dating that never progress to a second, you had both made it as far as the third date.

She invited you into her home.

You obliged.

Why turn her down for sex?

Surely, the entire night was building up to this.

What on earth did you expect in accepting her invitation to come into her home?

Surprise leads to suspicion.

Was this all some kind of game?

Why take her on three dates only to leave her high and dry with no sex?

What game are you playing at?

Are you even heterosexual?

Suspicion leads to anger.

Thanks a bunch for wasting my time on these three dates.

You think that I took the time to prepare my outfits and makeup on those dates just so that we can sit across a table and look dreamy-eyed at each other forever and ever without any sex at the end of it all?

Have you just been using me as some kind of distraction while you get over a broken heart that some wretched ex girlfriend left you with?

Have I been some kind of therapy for you as you try to mend your broken heart?


Now, she is really angry.

She doesn’t tell you all of this in the process of you leaving her sexually and emotionally frustrated at her place, but these thoughts are taking root in her mind.

You try to communicate with her after the fact and she doesn’t respond to your messages.

You never intended to make her think that you aren’t serious about her.

You just wanted to takes things slow.

You do like her and want to see her again, but she isn’t giving you that chance.

You feel shunned.

Why couldn’t she wait?

She felt that she had waited enough. To her, three dates was enough.

She was ready and only felt that your refusal to have sex pointed to a lack of authenticity on your part.

Ask yourself about your emotional availability at this time.

Are you truly ready to date?

Is there something from your past that is still weighing you down emotionally?

If there is, take some time off from dating and work on healing.

If there isn’t and you are just someone who really likes to take things slow, set those expectations earlier on with the girl.

Let her know that you are more old-fashioned when it comes to courting a girl.

This keeps her from getting ahead of herself and setting her expectations for sex too soon.

If she really likes you, she will be willing to wait.