Meeting someone for the first time after days or weeks of communication on an online dating site is nerve-wracking for a lot of people.
There is a lot of built up expectation.
You feel like you have gotten to know the person fairly well in that time and wonder if you will feel as good about them in real life as you have so far on the online dating site.
Funny enough, the more time you spend talking to someone on a dating site, the more nerve-wracking the first date is.
The more time spent getting to know each other, the more emotional investment you have.
This makes that first date all the more anxiety-inducing.
You are not only worrying about whether the person meets your now built up expectations, you are worried about whether you meet their expectations.
The shorter your time with someone on a dating site, the less nervous you are on that first date.
Some people meet after exchanging only a message or two.
In situations like this, people are less likely to be as nervous.
They haven’t spent enough time getting to know each other before suggesting that they meet.
If anything, there is more of a curiosity to their approach to their first date as opposed to nerves.
A second date, no matter the speed in which you both met on the first date, is normally a lot more stable when it comes to nerves and emotions.
You have not only met on that first date, but you have also had some time to talk to each other in-between dates.
Now that you have met each other face to face, the conversations that you have in-between the first and second date do a lot more in building a stronger sense of connection and camaraderie.
You have put aside the initial fears that you had on the first date, giving you a lot more confidence to attend the second date.
There is so much to worry about on that first date besides chemistry or the lack thereof.
With online dating, there is the realistic worry about how the person looks in real life.
There are no shortage of horror stories from people who have met on real life dates with potential matches only to be disappointed in how different their date looks.
The most popular complaint is that their date was overweight or short. These were bodily measurements that were misrepresented in their date’s online dating profile.
Just the fear alone of how your date is going to look is enough to make you nervous on that first date.
This is a person that you don’t know.
You weren’t introduced to them at work or by family and friends.
Your safety is something else that comes to mind.
Is this person a serial killer?
Yeah, people worry about that.
Some do google searches on their date before meeting them.
This helps to assuage their fears about meeting a serial killer.
And creates new fears.
There may have been something that they saw on their date’s social media or online information that troubled them.
They are worried about it, but still intrigued enough by the person to show up on the date.
Should they bring it up on the first date?
Are they going to notice clear signs of it in how the person behaves or what is said on the first date?
A first date is a cesspool of doubts and emotions.
Getting through it and making it to a second indicates that some of those doubts were allayed.
You feel more confident on the second date which often means that you aren’t as nervous.
It doesn’t mean that you are completely absent of nerves.
You just feel a lot better about certain things.
There are still some questions, but a good number of them were answered on that first date.
Join The Discussion