A coffee date isn’t a turn off.
Any issues that you have been having with people ghosting or cancelling dates on you have nothing to do with coffee dates in question.
Some people agree to dates that they have no real intention of going to.
If you had suggested something else, there is still a good chance of getting ghosted.
Think about the people that you have been talking to.
They aren’t people who are serious about meeting someone.
You are wasting your time talking to these people.
People like this give it away in certain ways when it comes to how you determine whether they are serious about meeting someone on a real life date.
Their dating profiles aren’t close to completion.
This is a huge give away.
When someone doesn’t take the time to complete their dating profile, they are only joining for the attention that the dating site brings.
Think about it.
A person who joins a dating site with the intent of meeting someone from said dating site on a real life date wants to give potential matches as much information as appropriate to make their dating profile more appealing to them.
When you notice that a person’s dating profile isn’t even fifty percent completed, that is a sign that they aren’t taking online dating seriously.
It doesn’t matter how good the conversations are with this person.
The chances of getting them to meet you on a real life date are slim to none.
People who are only looking for attention or to kill boredom on dating sites don’t complete a good portion of their dating profile.
It’s not the coffee date that is the turn off.
You are just talking to the wrong people.
The moment you suggest the coffee date, they know that the ride is over and they have to ghost.
Timing is relevant.
At what point do you normally ask someone to a coffee date?
Some people are turned off if you ask too soon.
Although they agree to the date, they only do so to avoid the possibility of awkwardness or hostility if they were to tell you that they weren’t interested in meeting up with you at this time.
They find it a lot easier to ghost you than to show up on the coffee date.
Don’t be in a rush.
Some people need more time to get comfortable with the prospect of meeting you on a coffee date.
To you, a coffee date this soon isn’t a big ask.
To them, it’s meeting someone that they don’t know very well in public.
It’s a lot more than a coffee date to them.
They don’t know you.
Believing that you are worth the effort required to travel to the location of the coffee date is a must.
Worrying about their safety is another concern.
Without getting them to a point where they feel that you are worth the travel and that it is safe to meet you in real life, they won’t come, whether it be for a coffee date or a lavish dinner date at the swankiest restaurant in town.
The best time to know whether you have reached a point where it is appropriate to ask for that first date with the highest probability that they say yes and actually show up is when lighthearted flirting is a frequent accent to your conversations.
This is when you know that camaraderie is at a healthy level.
Since you have repeatedly asked for these coffee dates only to get ghosted, show more patience and work on building a little bit more rapport with people.
Remember, it is not the coffee date that is turning them off.
Your choices in who you choose to chat with or the timing of your requests are the major factors.