Online Dating: Is It Okay To Ask To Be Friends After Being Turned Down For A Second Date?

By Luke
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Online Dating: Is It Okay To Ask To Be Friends After Being Turned Down For A Second Date?

Ask yourself about what your motives are for wanting to ask this person to be friends.

You may believe that you are merely just wanting to be friends with this person because you feel that there was a good enough of a connection to pursue this kind of relationship.

Perhaps you really enjoyed your interactions with this person on the online dating site and also enjoyed their company when you met them on that first date.

Even though the person turned down a second date with you, you have found yourself reluctant to completely sever your connection with this person.

You are even willing to ask this person to be your friend so as not to lose this connection.

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Again, it is very important that you ask yourself about your motives in wanting to ask this person to be friends with you even though they turned you down for a second date and you are now fully aware that they aren’t interested in you romantically.

Try not to talk yourself into believing that you just want to be this person’s friend and nothing more when deep down you may know that you are hoping for something more.

Your interaction with this person on the online dating site started with the hope of romance in mind.

Indeed, your desire for romance may have been the reason why you joined the online dating site in the first place.

You may have built a lot of rapport with this person over the course of several days or weeks as you got to know them.

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That first date was arranged and you were most likely very excited and somewhat nervous about it.

You may have enjoyed this first date thoroughly, despite the nerves.

Indeed, you were most likely the one who asked for the second date.

You wouldn’t have asked for a second date if you weren’t feeling a strong sense of romantic connection with them during the course of that first date.

However, they turned you down for a second date.

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Now you are thinking about asking the person about becoming friends.

Understand that oftentimes people will ask for friendship when the hope for romance has failed because they are hoping that through friendship, they may have another opportunity at romance with the person of interest at some point in time in the future.

You shouldn’t allow yourself to be influenced by this desire.

It often doesn’t work out.

Even if the person agrees to be your friend, they will rarely develop a romantic inclination towards you.

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They will merely look at you as a platonic friend.

Meanwhile, you continue to stick around as the ever loyal friend in the hopes that this person will eventually come around and want something more than a friendship with you.

At this moment in time, you may not be entirely certain about your motives for wanting to ask this person to be friends.

If this is the case, take some time out.

Allow your emotions to settle.

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This will often give you the opportunity to think more clearly.

Once you reach this point, you will understand your motives a lot better.

Having taken the time to do this, if you truly feel that your sincere motives are all about pursuing a platonic friendship with this person, it would still be best to avoid asking to be friends on your own accord.

This was the person that turned down your offer for a second date.

If they still want to maintain a connection with you, albeit platonic, it would be best for them to come to you with that request.

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Letting this person initiate a request to be friends will often indicate that they will put in an equal amount of effort to make this new platonic friendship work.