Experience.

Some of these dudes have chatted with girls on an online dating site who got too excited about them too quickly.

These are girls who were loving the conversations and relieved to have finally encountered a dude who was capable of sustaining them.

At first, they weren’t all that caught up on what they were on the dating site for.

They were open to dating guys and just seeing how things went.

That changed soon after talking to this dude.

Their level of excitement and expectation grew to the point where they started dropping strong hints that illuminated a lack of attachment to their initial intent of just taking things slow and dating around.

Feeling really good about the prospect of what a relationship with this dude would be like, she prematurely says that she is looking for something serious.

By now, with all of the easygoing conversation, the dude should be feeling the same way, or so she hopes.

She wants the dude to be fine with the prospect of looking at her as a true potential girlfriend.

At this point in time, the dude was already suspecting that she wasn’t as devoted to just dating around and taking things slow as she had initially come off.

She was leaving hints in the conversations.

She was talking about the future too much.

She was asking about his family too much.

She was trying to learn about his parents and what their marriage was like.

She was trying to learn about his relationship with his mom and how close they were.

The dude was already suspecting that this so-called laid-back girl wasn’t on the same expectation level that he was.

He was looking to take things slow and date around, see how things go.

She was no longer on the same spectrum.

Unfortunately, as fun as it has been to talk to her, this dude has to let her go.

He realizes that she was never truly honest about just wanting to take things slow and date around.

She joined the dating site in an attempt to find something serious and she isn’t willing to take her time to get there.

She is already trying to get him to change his stance and get more serious about her.

Some dudes experience this phenomenon repeatedly on dating sites.

The girl seems fine with just taking things slow but once she gets excited about the guy, she is changing her tune and looking to get him to agree to pursuing something more serious.

Although you don’t believe that you would move a correspondence too quickly to satisfy your desire for a serious relationship, these dudes find it hard to believe you.

They have been there before.

At least, in your case, you are being a lot more honest up-front about looking for something serious.

These dudes on the other hand have felt misled by girls who initially gave them the impression that they were fine with dating for the fun of it and open to whatever happens, that any mention of the word, “serious,” sets off alarm bells in their brains.

They aren’t assuming that you immediately want to jump into a relationship with them.

They are more so worried that you aren’t going to take your time to just have fun and get to know them.

Instead of approaching conversations with an openness for whatever, you are now laser-focused on every word he says to the point where you misconstrue some of them.

That is terrifying to these dudes who have been here before.

They don’t want to have to watch every word or every topic that they bring up, in fear that you easily misinterpret them as a sign that they either want something serious or don’t.

They just want to be able to have fun, lighthearted conversation without having to worry about how their words are being interpreted.

You are no longer fun when you mention that you are looking for something serious too soon.

These dudes instantly interpret that as a sign that you are going to be uptight and way too stuck on extrapolating “relationship” cues, justified or not, from conversations that are supposed to be just fun and harmless.