You have run across those cruel words time and time again while browsing through an online dating site.
As you read through the dating profiles of some men, you come across words like, “no single moms,” “no single mothers, don’t want any baby daddy drama,” “if you were a great catch, your husband wouldn’t have left you and the kids,” “no women with kids please, just not my thing, sorry,” and on and on.
You have seen these phrases or sentences in the dating profiles of so many men that it reaches a point where it just feels cruel.
You don’t understand why they have to be so cruel to a single mother of whose story they are completely unaware.
They have just made an assumption that it is all your fault and believe that you put yourself in this position due to something that you did wrong.
They make it seem as though you are no longer a human being who is worthy of being loved and capable of giving love in return.
If you are just starting to do online dating as a single mom, all of this cruelty can hit you hard.
You weren’t expecting it.
You had heard about how online dating is the way to go about meeting someone in this day and age.
So many people seem to be doing it.
Some of your friends are doing it.
Your work colleagues.
Even some members of your family.
You figured that you might as well try your luck.
After all, how bad could it be when so many people that you know or are familiar with have tried it.
They never prepared you for the kind of cruelty you are now experiencing at the hands of men who distinctly voice their disdain to match up with a single mom in their dating profiles.
All of this cruelty is making you think about quitting online dating altogether.
So many of these men that are cruel to single moms in their dating profiles have a lot of their own internal insecurities when it comes to single moms.
Some were raised by single moms and didn’t have the best childhood.
They were angry that their fathers weren’t around and blamed their moms for that.
They held on to this anger into their adulthood and use that childhood experience to vilify single moms in general.
Their experience growing up without a father was negative and they are taking it out on those they hold responsible, the single mother.
Don’t bother with these men.
Their issues with single moms go a lot deeper than what you see on the surface.
You had no control over how they grew up.
Yet, they need someone to blame.
Blaming their own mom isn’t enough.
They have to blame all single moms as they believe that their childhood was lacking without a father present.
Other men have developed this cruelty towards single moms based on an ideal that they have set in their mind of what a perfect woman is.
A perfect woman has no flaws.
She is civil, kind, supportive and submissive.
She had the perfect childhood and will be the perfect mom to their future children.
To them, a single mom is damaged goods that comes with so many negative connotations.
They worry about their reputation and wouldn’t want to be associated with such a woman.
These men are living in an alternate universe and reality will come crashing down on them eventually.
No woman, regardless of whether she is a single mom or not, is perfect.
There are always insecurities and issues.
This goes for men too.
This is part of what makes us all human.
Many of these men will come to realize that, as they unsuccessfully try to woo women on the dating site that aren’t single moms of whom they deem to be perfect.
Life has a way of teaching the naive a lesson.
Take solace in this.
From now on, whenever you come across a dating profile of a man who is being cruel to single moms, smile and say to yourself, “Thank you.”
This man just did you a favor in letting you know about how insecure and naive he is as a person.
Move on to the next dating profile.
There are many men on dating sites who would have no issues with dating a single mom.
Some of them are single dads themselves who can relate to your experience, others are just more concerned with connecting with someone, whether that person is a single mom or not.