Granted, you love your best friend.
All you want is for her to be happy and enjoy her life and the people in it who matter most to her.
There was nothing more heart-wrenching than seeing your best friend’s partner on a dating site.
Not only that.
You know that he is active on it.
The photos he has posted on his profile are recent.
Worse, you know where a few of those images were shot and have visited a few of those locations with your best friend and her partner in person.
With such a connection to your best friend and her everyday life, it really hit home when you saw the partner you know she trusts and loves active on a dating site.
Now you are in a conundrum.
You don’t know whether you should tell her about what you saw.
No matter how well-intentioned you are about enlightening your best friend about seeing her partner actively on a dating site, don’t tell her.
There is so much emotion involved in a romantic relationship.
Given that your best friend likely loves her partner, hearing that he is on an online dating site won’t suddenly get rid of those feelings.
If anything, she will feel the need to desperately hold onto his words as he lies to her about why this happened.
Some of the most common rebuttals used by men in this situation are that it is an old profile that he no longer uses, that he is only looking for platonic friends, or that someone is impersonating him on the dating site.
Being that she loves him, she is going to listen to any excuse he gives her and, sadly, accept it.
All of this happens after a period of infighting, as he desperately puts on the charm and assumes his best behavior to convince her that she has it all wrong.
So much drama.
Meanwhile, you are in the middle of all of it.
You brought this on them.
When he inevitably convinces her that he loves her and that this is all a misunderstanding, you are quickly looked at as the enemy, by both of them.
You are the common enemy who brought all of this unhappiness into their previously happy relationship.
This is when your relationship with your best friend pays a bitter price.
Your best friend is suddenly not taking your calls as often as she once did, and she uses every excuse in the world to keep from hanging out with you.
All you did was try to protect her by informing her that you saw her partner on an internet dating site, only to have her develop a disdain for you.
A disdain that has led to the demise of your friendship with her.
Never get in the middle of two people where a powerful emotion such as love is present, at least from one party.
Love isn’t rational.
Even though you believe that you would be protecting your best friend by telling her about her partner actively on a dating site, you would be putting yourself in the middle of two people with emotions for each other that aren’t easily corralled.
She is an adult who independently chose to date this partner.
That was her decision, and she has to bear the consequences that come with doing so and learn from it.
This isn’t your fight.