First meet-ups are considered a date.
Although you are thinking that a first meet-up in cases where you meet a person on an online dating site is more of a verification that said person is real, a first meet-up is still considered a date.
I get your concern.
You are worried that the woman you have been chatting with online is a catfish in looks and personality, and that her attractive photos and bio are misrepresentative of who she is.
It’s feasible you have gone through something like this already.
You were talking to a match and everything seemed to be going magnificently.
You arranged a date with her, met her in person, and realized that she had been misrepresenting herself all along.
Her dating profile photos didn’t match what she looked like in real life, nor did her bio match her personality.
And there you were, astounded, heartbroken, regretting the fact that you just spent several weeks of your life talking to a woman who was a sham all along.
You are not alone.
A good number of men, and women too, have gone through this while online dating.
This being said, people on dating sites do look at first meet-ups as a date.
To this end, you need to take these first meet-ups seriously.
No matter how disappointing your previous first meet-ups have been, you mustn’t let that negativity inform or influence how you go about approaching the first meet-ups you go on.
The woman that you have been chatting with online is regarding this first meet-up as a date.
She is taking it seriously, and so should you.
Not taking it seriously puts you at a disadvantage.
You end up not dressing the part, and you don’t pick a good location, nor conduct yourself properly.
This is where you ruin everything.
She isn’t stupid.
She senses that you aren’t taking the first meet-up seriously, and this affects how she assesses you throughout the meeting.
Next thing you know, after this first meet-up, as you are asking her out for what you consider to be a “proper” first date, she isn’t replying to your message, or is giving excuses as to why she is unable to do it, or outright tells you that she has lost interest.
Now you are regretting not taking the first meet-up seriously, having lost out on her.
If you are so worried about the prospect of matching with someone online and later learning that she isn’t exactly who she said she was upon meeting her in person, get into a pattern of doing video chats before first meet-ups.
Doing video chats before first meet-ups gives you an opportunity to visually see who you have been chatting with online, and get a firsthand read on her real personality.
As long as there is good lighting, you confirm what she actually looks like.
Additionally, through conversation, you get a better idea about whether she is a match for the personality that she was emanating in the conversations you were having with her online.
Getting into a pattern of doing video chats before first meet-ups, offloads any uncertainty about whether she is for real in looks and personality.
After a video chat, should you decide to meet in person for the first time, you have a stronger motivation to take the meet-up seriously and regard it as a first date.