Online Dating: How To Not Take Things, Such As Ghosting, Personally?

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Online Dating: How To Not Take Things, Such As Ghosting, Personally?

It can get to you after a while.

You are having great conversations with someone that you met on an online dating site and the both of you decide to meet.

The date turns out great.

The both of you may have even kissed or made out.

The date ends and you feel really good about how things went.

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You are hopeful for the future.

Then, nothing.

The person doesn’t respond to your messages.

The person doesn’t answer your phone calls.

They…just…disappear.

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You are left completely baffled.

After such a promising encounter, this person has completely disappeared without so much as an explanation or a goodbye.

They have ghosted.

Experiencing this once in online dating can be difficult.

Experiencing it multiple times from multiple romantic prospects can get personal.

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It is hard to not allow yourself to start thinking that there has to be something wrong with you.

It is hard not to take incidents like this personal.

You can’t be blamed for how you feel.

After all, everything was pointing towards a positive direction and you were merely going with the flow of the interaction.

In order not to take things like this personally, you need to understand that regardless of how good an interaction is with someone that you meet on an online dating site, that kind of connection is not necessarily going to be as strong when you both meet in a real life setting.

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When you both meet in real life, there has been a degree of buildup.

You both want the real life date to work out because you have had such good chemistry while interacting on the online dating site.

Due to this mindset, the both of you may not really be registering certain things that the other person is doing that may be a turn off.

You are both quite nervous and just want that first date to go off without a hitch or complication.

This could lead to the both of you seemingly having a good time because you just want to focus on the good elements of each other.

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However, once that first date is over and you have both gone back to your respective spaces, this is often the time that reflection sets in.

Try to put yourself in this other person’s shoes for a moment.

Even if the both of you made out or kissed at the end of that first date, you may still be doubtful about just how well you connected with this person.

Now that the pressure is off and you are able to look back on that date, you come to realize that the connection actually wasn’t as strong as you thought it was.

You will remember certain things that suddenly make you feel turned off.

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You will remember certain expectations that you had about your date that simply weren’t met.

This is especially the case when you meet that person through online dating.

You already had a list of expectations when you started online dating.

Now that you have met this person in real life and those first date jitters have worn off, you come to realize that a number of important elements that you needed in terms of what you were looking for in a romantic prospect wasn’t met.

As a result, you decide to ghost the person.

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Now that you have put yourself in this other person’s shoes, you may now understand their mode of thinking better.

Let’s come back to you.

Even though you seem to be the one who has been on the receiving end of being ghosted by romantic prospects that you met on an online dating site, try to think back to bad dates that you have had in the past.

Think back to your life before online dating.

There were probably dates that you went on that just didn’t work out.

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The other person may have liked you and may have wanted to go on another date with you but you simply weren’t feeling that romantic spark with them.

You may have ghosted this person or perhaps you had the courtesy to tell them that you just weren’t feeling them in a romantic way.

It was just a question of compatibility.

There was nothing personal.

If anything, you may have felt that the person was nice enough, but you just couldn’t help the fact that you felt no romantic connection to them.

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Now that the tables have turned and you are at the receiving end of being ghosted, it feels personal.

However, in order not to take it personally, simply reflect on moments in the past when you have been the one who didn’t feel a romantic connection.

It was nothing personal, you were just not feeling them in a romantic way.

Unfortunately, even though you may be a person who is decent enough to let someone know that you are no longer romantically interested in them, most people would rather ghost because it is just easier to do.

It avoids confrontation.

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It isn’t personal on their part.

This is what they will do with most people that they don’t establish a strong romantic connection with upon meeting in real life.

In essence, they aren’t only doing this to you.


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