You are too worried that you will mess that first date up.
You just get too caught up in your thoughts.
This is normally where a good chunk of your anxiety on dates is coming from.
One of the major advantages of meeting dating prospects through an online dating site is that this tends to give you the opportunity to get to know someone over a sustained period of time before ever getting to the stage where there is a natural inclination to ask them out on an actual date.
You should take advantage of this kind of opportunity.
An online dating site will often have a plethora of dating options and more of them sign up every single day.
Hence, you need to have an abundance mindset when it comes to online dating.
Sometimes, guys just feel the need to meet up with a girl prematurely out of the fear that she is either going to lose interest in them or that some other guy will take her away from them.
If this fear has been causing you to set up dates with girls that you haven’t built a strong enough rapport or camaraderie with, you should avoid being so fearful.
Lean on the understanding that dating sites provide you with countless opportunities to meet potential romantic matches.
Being that you have anxiety on dates to the point where it has cost you second dates, you should take more time in getting to know these girls and building rapport with them in the process.
There is a good chance that if you take more time with them, you may reach a point where you get so comfortable with them, that you stop worrying about messing up at a first date.
At this stage, the girl may have already shown you her goofy, clumsy side.
This helps tremendously in allowing you to see that the pretty girl that you have been messaging for the last few weeks on the dating site is just as human as you are.
That is something that you need to see.
Besides being worried that you will mess up at the first date, some of your anxiety comes from the likelihood that you often put these girls that you ask out on dates on a pedestal.
Being that you have probably been too quick to ask them out on a date, you probably never got to see their goofy, clumsy side.
You never got to hear them make mistakes in their language or lose their train of thought.
You haven’t gotten to see them being themselves.
So far, you have been asking these girls out at a point where they still remain perfectly structured in your eyes, like a porcelain doll.
You are still enamored by the perfection that you see in their dating profile and in the photos that they have posted.
It is with this mindset and approach that you go about meeting these girls on that first date.
Of course, the anxiety is prevalent like a cascading ocean, making you so wound up and uncomfortable that you end up fulfilling your own prophecy in messing up that first date.
During the date, you can barely speak.
You are constantly apologizing for no apparent reason.
You have a lack of appetite.
You are sweating profusely.
You are so embarrassed that you can barely make eye contact with the girl.
She sees this anxious behavior coming from you, is quickly turned off and the date ends in failure.
It’s time for you to work on patience.
Take more time getting to know these girls until the point that you no longer hold them on such a high pedestal because you have gotten to see them at their most human.
Then and only then should you think about asking them out.
Does this mean that some of them will fall off along the way due to how much time it is taking for you to ask them out?
However, what point is there in asking these girls out prematurely only to experience the same result of a failed first date over and over again?
It is better to be patient and yes, have some of them fall off, as you continue building rapport with those that remain.
This way, when you feel ready and choose to ask out some of the women who have stuck it out with you, you will have a much better chance at not being anxious at the date.
This means that your chances of getting a second date dramatically increase and this most certainly beats having a bunch of anxiety-ridden first dates that repeatedly end in failure.