Online Dating: I Keep Getting Ghosted When Trying To Get To Know Someone Online?

By Luke Iwuji, CEO and Founder.

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Online Dating: I Keep Getting Ghosted When Trying To Get To Know Someone Online?

It can be frustrating to constantly find yourself in the position where you keep getting ghosted as you are in the process of trying to get to know someone online.

If it is any consolation, this is a common practice when people meet online or on an online dating site.

The first few conversations may be fine.

The conversation flows fairly easily and both parties are responding on a consistent basis.

However, all of a sudden, you may send a message or response to the person that doesn’t get a reply.

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You wait it out a little bit to get a response but it doesn’t take long before you realize that, yet again, you have been ghosted by someone that you have been interacting with online.

Try to understand that connecting with people is not a given.

This is especially true if you meet this person online.

The lack of face to face real life interaction can often be an impediment to developing a connection with the person.

Even though the first few conversations were fine, that doesn’t guarantee that the person is going to want to keep on talking to you online.

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Oftentimes, the person will have a good idea of what you are like based on a few conversations.

If they feel that you are not the type of person that they can connect with on a romantic level, they may choose to ghost you.

They do this so as not to waste both their time and yours in trying to pursue an interaction that they know won’t lead to romance.

Yes, some people can get a good sense of their compatibility with you based on a few conversations.

Once they have a good sense that they wouldn’t be compatible with you, they could easily ghost you.

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In their minds, they aren’t doing anything egregiously bad.

After all, they never made any promises to you.

They never tried to make you believe that there was more to the interaction than there really was.

They merely had a few fun conversations with you, discovered that the compatibility or chemistry simply wasn’t there and chose to quietly stop communicating with you.

It is really important that you don’t allow yourself to get so caught up in your hopes for a romantic relationship, that you look at every interaction with someone that you meet online as your ticket to said romantic relationship.

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You may be putting way too much pressure on every encounter and interaction that you have with people that you meet online.

This kind of pressure may even be coming off in how you go about interacting with the person.

It may not take more than a handful of conversations with you for the person to tell that you are overly excited and too eager.

You may be trying too hard because you are so aware of how often that you get ghosted when you meet someone online.

Thereby, you try too hard to make it work.

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You are too agreeable.

It is as though you put every single message that you ultimately send to this person through rigorous inspection before you send it.

It just feels too rehearsed, too proper, too overdone.

All of this is sensed by the person at the other end and this could lead to them becoming turned off.

They may feel as though they aren’t getting the real you.

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Try to avoid putting so much pressure on your interactions with those that you meet online.

Stop hoping so desperately that this person will become your relationship partner.

Just be in the moment, be yourself and allow the interactions to flow naturally.

If you do this consistently, you may start noticing that you aren’t getting ghosted as frequently as you once did.