You have had your self-esteem take several negative shots on both online dating sites and in real life.

You may have gotten shot down so many times now that you are literally on the brink of giving up on girls entirely.

However, do understand that there appears to be a common theme here.

You have been shot down many times on online dating sites as well as in real life.

This means that there is most likely something that you are repeatedly doing that is making girls shoot you down, both on online dating sites and in real life.

Take a look back at your behavior when it comes to approaching girls.

Ask yourself if there is a way that you always seem to go about it.

Perhaps there is something that you always say.

There may be a particular favorite topic of yours that you always like to bring up.

There may be a particular kind of energy that you give off whenever you approach these girls both on online dating sites and in real life.

There may be a way that you go about communicating that may not be the most effective in getting a girl intrigued.

Just take an introspective look at the way you have typically approached girls on online dating sites and in real life.

There is a good chance that there is a common way in which you go about it.

This may be your problem.

This common thread may be the reason why you keep getting shot down by girls on online dating sites and in real life.

It is understandable that a person’s self-esteem would get shot after having been shot down just too many times.

After all, you are human and have feelings.

You aren’t a robot.

However, again, you may be able to dramatically reduce the number of shot downs that you get from women both on online dating sites and in real life by cutting out something that you tend to do in your approach.

For example, you may be in the habit of starting conversations with girls on online dating sites and in real life by saying something generic.

Perhaps you ask them about how their day is going or how they are.

If you have noticed a pattern of doing this, you should stop it.

Girls get asked this question a lot by guys.

Oftentimes, these are guys who are playing it safe and just don’t want to offend the girl when they approach her.

Girls can often sense this kind of guy and it turns them off.

They can tell that he is playing it really safe and is too afraid of messing up.

Hence, they tend to shoot down the guys who have this kind of safe and boring approach because it gives them nothing to get excited about.

Instead of playing it safe and generic, you shouldn’t be afraid to be a little risque in your approach with girls.

This is often achieved by being flirtatious.

Girls actually love this, as long as you do it right.

Guys who try to flirt with girls when they approach them often make the mistake of being extremely generic in how they go about it.

They will make generic comments like, “You’re so beautiful,” or “You’re really pretty.”

Attractive girls hear this all the time and hence, it has next to no effect on them.

By making comments like this, you are just like all of the other guys and these girls would most likely shoot you down because you have given them nothing to separate yourself from the pack and get them intrigued about.

When you flirt with a girl, it is best to come at it in more of a sophisticated way.

This can often be done by using humor.

For example, you may know this girl from the gym and oftentimes she may have her headphones on.

You could say something like, “Let me guess, you like to listen to Latina music?”

She may confirm or deny this, but either way, she will most likely come back with asking you a question about why you thought that.

You could then respond with something like, “Your hips don’t lie,” which is also a reference to a famous song from the artist Shakira.

Whether she is into pop culture or not, there is a good chance that you will get her to laugh at this.

She will understand what you just did.

Right there, you have broken the ice with her and given her something that she isn’t used to getting from most guys who approach her and try to flirt with her, risk and originality.

This is the kind of approach that you can use with girls on online dating sites or in real life.

Stop playing it safe all the time.

Be bold and somewhat risque in your approach.

This is what catches their attention and gives them a reason to want to keep talking to you.