Online Dating: I Get A Lot Of Matches, But I’m A Terrible Texter?

Online Dating: I Get A Lot Of Matches, But I'm A Terrible Texter?

You are not the only one.

You are like this in real life.

Your friends and family members have told you about how terrible of a texter you are.

They are used to it by now.

You can get away with sending bad texts or uninspired texts as they have come to expect that from you.

They are your family and friends, so they let it slide.

You will not get away with being a terrible texter on a dating site.

There is fierce competition for attention in a quest to find relationship partners.

If your texts don’t stick out, you will not get very far, regardless of how many matches you are getting.

It won’t be long before those matches dry up.

Becoming a better texter requires that you change your bad and lazy habits when it comes to texting.

Yes, you actually have to stop and think.

No, just writing anything that comes to mind in an attempt to quickly get back to playing video games or watching the football game won’t work.

There is no point in signing up on an online dating site without the desire to put in the work required to find the right relationship partner for you.

If you are not prepared to put in the work, don’t even bother with online dating.

You still here?

Alright, the first step in becoming a better texter is to always think about how to go about opening up a conversation and keeping it going.

The “conversation” aspect of all of this should be foremost on your mind.

Think about what topic you want to start with and visualize how you can expand on that topic in a way that keeps a conversation going.

Instead of thinking about just leaving some generic message for a match that requires very little effort to construct, think about how you can actually have a conversation.

For example, if you are the one who is about to initiate contact with a match, instead of focusing on making a statement, think about asking a question.

Again, always think about “conversation” first as opposed to just texting anything that comes to mind.

Your question needs to be one that opens up conversation.

A question that only warrants a one word or phrase response is not conducive to generating an open and continuous conversation.

Since you are on a dating site, use the person’s profile as your guide.

If they went into great detail about a particular experience that they had, you can expand on that experience by asking them a question in relation to it.

To make it a question that generates open and continuous conversation, think about getting them to go into even greater detail about something that they described.

For example, your match went on a trip somewhere and briefly mentioned a great experience they had scuba diving.

You can get them to expand on this segment of their trip.

Your text message opener to them can let them know about your interest in scuba diving, this creates the initial connection between you through a shared common interest, then proceed to ask them about what that experience was like.

This opens you up to getting a response from them that is a lot more than one word or phrase.

The more writing you get a person of interest to do in a response to a text message you sent them, the more thinking they are doing.

The more thinking they are doing to answer your question, the more time and thought commitment they are putting into their response to you.

This bodes a lot better for you in keeping a conversation going with this match than if all you were doing was getting one word or one phrase text messages from them in response to terrible text messages that you are sending that aren’t conducive to opening up a conversation.

Practice this approach with every match that you text on a dating site and you will have a lot more success in getting them emotionally engaged in the conversations that they have with you.

It is this emotional engagement that keeps them interested until an opportune time arrives for the both of you to meet in real life.