People who are online dating often make the regrettable mistake of holding out for too long when it comes to having the “what are we?” talk.
Perhaps they are so relieved to have met someone amazing while online dating and they worry that they will mess everything up if they were to have the “what are we?” talk too soon.
As a result, they continue dating the person with no real direction or endgame.
This is never a good idea.
If you were to do this, you could easily end up dating this person until they give you the shocking news that they have met someone else that they would like to become exclusive with.
Being that you met this person while online dating, it is very conceivable that they could be dating other people simultaneously.
If you don’t have the “what are we?” talk in a sufficient amount of time, this person could easily fall for someone else.
If you are worried about whether it is too soon to have the “what are we?” talk,” you can start by using the number of dates that you have had with this person as a guide.
If you have been on at least ten dates with each other over a sustained period of time, that is a sufficient number of dates to determine where this relationship should be headed.
If you do an average of one date a week, which is typically the norm, ten dates would amount to about two and a half months of dating.
During this span of time, if the communication between the both of you has been consistent and substantive, you should both have a really good sense of the kind of relationship that you would both want.
This is perhaps your best approach to this if you are looking for an exact time frame to use.
Using this time frame will make it easier for you to feel justified in having a “what are we?” talk with this person.
This should be enough to keep you from constantly worrying about whether it is too soon to have the “what are we?” talk.
You need to make sure that you don’t spend too much time going out on dates with this person with no real purpose or direction to all of this.
If the both of you stated in your online dating profiles that you were both looking for a serious relationship, two and a half months of dating and consistent communication is a very sufficient time frame to determine whether you are both fit for a serious relationship with each other.
Having the “what are we?” talk is something that should be done properly.
It should never be approached in a way that makes the other person feel pressured.
An effective “what are we?” talk should feel open and free.
You shouldn’t approach this conversation with an intimidating air of purpose and expectation.
This could put undue pressure on the other person and cause them to be dishonest with their answer.
You should approach this “what are we?” talk in more of a conversational manner.
Don’t give away what it is that you want so obviously.
Let the other person give you their honest answer without you trying to influence them in any way.
This is how you should go about it.
Getting an honest answer from this person that you met while online dating is what enables you to have a clear understanding of what direction to take next.