Online Dating: When Someone Asks, “Do You Live Alone?”

Online Dating: When Someone Asks, "Do You Live Alone?"

It feels unnerving when you hear those words, “Do you live alone?”

Especially when you haven’t built that much chemistry with someone you have only recently met on a dating app.

But alas, you receive that question and for a few seconds your mind goes into overdrive, asking yourself why he has asked this question.

Is he a serial killer, stalker, scammer, peeping tom, etc.,?

You don’t know which one of these he represents, if any, but your mind is on overdrive.

You contemplate how to go about answering the question, especially when you do live alone.

In telling him that you live alone, is he going to use this against you by following you after a first date and breaking in?

This is where your imagination runs absolutely rampant.

Hollywood movies have only made it worse, particularly horror movies.

But alas, you stop yourself.

You know that you are being ridiculous.

Surely, this man that has had great conversations with you on a dating app thus far isn’t a villain.


Anyway, you are somewhat stumped on how to go about answering a question like this.

It makes sense that you are stumped on this question.

It just feels…invasive.

Even though you have already had a few good conversations with this guy on a dating app, you don’t know him.

He remains a stranger, no matter how much it seems you two have connected.

You recently met him on a dating app.

Technically, that makes him a stranger.

To be asked, “Do you live alone,” sounds intrusive, although you two have spent a good chunk of your conversations talking about each other’s families, friends, etc.

It makes sense that this question leaves you stumped on how to respond.

The truth is, you don’t have to, if you don’t feel comfortable doing so.

Pay attention to your instincts.

This is what tells you whether you are alright with divulging this information.

When there is a strong sense of discomfort when you hear a guy asking you this question, that is when your instincts are letting you know that you aren’t ready to divulge this information.

A guy who is of good intention respects this.

He won’t pursue the topic any further when you tell him that you aren’t comfortable divulging that information quite yet.

A guy who doesn’t respect this and continues finding different ways to ask you about whether you live alone is troubling.

No, this doesn’t mean he is a serial killer.

It means he lacks empathy and is self-centered, caring more so for what he wants above yours.

This being said, the majority of men who ask whether you live alone aren’t serial killers.

You don’t have to worry too much about that.

But feeling uneasy about divulging this information is important.

To divulge this information means that you have established a layer of trust with him.

Trust is fundamental in any relationship, even when you are in the early stages of courtship.

When trust is yet to be established, you don’t want to give off the impression that it has by answering this question.

It sends the wrong message, making him believe he is permitted to get into more intimate and personal topics that you aren’t ready to get into.

Still stumped on how to go about answering this question?

Buy time by cracking a joke.

Tell him that you live alone, but you have 10 stray cats you are looking after.

That cracks him up and he lets it go for now.

This buys you more time to build rapport with him until you know whether you are internally secure enough to divulge this information.