Online Dating: After A Great First Date, Is It Possible That We Didn’t End Up Messaging Each Other Ever Again Because We Are Both Insecure?

Online Dating: After A Great First Date, Is It possible That We Didn't End Up Messaging Each Other Ever Again Because We Are Both Insecure?

Insecurity that is too prevalent in both parties easily impedes a romantic engagement.

As an insecure person, you don’t always feel worthy.

Even when people praise you, it is still hard for you to believe or accept that they are sincere and you are truly worthy of the compliment.

Believing that you aren’t worthwhile makes you believe that you shouldn’t be able to attract a good mate.

Even after a great first date where the both of you really got along, your insecurity eventually made you believe that it must have all been in your mind.

When two parties have this sort of intense insecurity, it easily stiffens them from taking follow-up action.

The dating site was easier.

You are behind a cyberspace digital interface.

Talking to each other through this medium felt even better than talking to people in real life.

There is a sense of safety and anonymity that comes with it.

Inevitably, it came time to meet on that first date.

You were already nervous.

The both of you were.

You met on the first date and there were jitters.

You weren’t entirely comfortable in the beginning.

As time went on, the both of you felt more relaxed.

The conversations flowed easier and there were laughs.

To your surprise, the first date went so differently from other first dates that you have had in your life.

You are so used to things going wrong.

Your anxiety and insecurity caused you to be silent a lot or just awkward on those dates.

This first date was different.

As it progressed, you grew more confident and so did your date.

Dare you say, the thought of a second date crossed your mind.

That is almost unheard of for you.

Most of your first dates in the past haven’t reached a second.

This online dating thing is beginning to make you a believer.

You finally had a successful first date.

You felt that the person you met was just as encouraged about the first date.

Their body language was a lot more relaxed as the date progressed.

You were really thinking about the possibility of even broaching the topic of a second date in conversation.

You held yourself back though, not wanting to be too presumptuous and possibly ruin the moment.

The first date ended, hugs or handshakes were exchanged and you both dispersed.

You wrestled with the idea of contacting your date just to ask about how they were doing and even reminiscing about how great the first date was.

Instead, you waited.

You have had so many unsuccessful first dates in the past that you just don’t want to jinx yourself.

You much rather your date contact you first.

This way, you are reassured that they too had a great time at the date.

You wait.

A day goes by.



A week.

Now you panic.

Why hasn’t your date contacted you?

Two people who are insecure with similar failed experiences in dating act in a similar way.

They lack confidence and refuse to believe that something they were a part of was worthwhile.

Not wanting to come off as presumptuous, they need the other person to make that next move in messaging them.

The other expects the same and waits too.

The more time elapses, the harder it is to make that next move in messaging for either party.

Eventually, they accept that the first date must have been an aberration and that they are still this unworthy person who fails at dates.

They have both missed out on a grand opportunity, drawing erroneous comfort from the belief that they are unworthy.

More failed first dates are to come for the both of you with this mindset.

Working on building self-worth and a sense of purpose overcomes a lot of the negativity that insecurity creates in the mind.

Do more of what scares you in life.

Take part in these tasks and watch your confidence build as you overcome and master them.

Get into the habit of accepting and owning compliments that you receive.

All of this does a lot in breaking down insecurity and building your self-confidence.

Do this for a while.

When you have more self-confidence, more first dates lead to consequent dates.