Meeting someone in real life after having been introduced to them on an online dating site can feel daunting to someone who is very shy.
You probably feel the need to get better at first dates because the few that you have had so far have just not worked out.
Real life has strangely proven to be so much more complex when it comes to having an easygoing interaction than the online world.
When meeting this person in a real life setting, you no longer have the safety net of technology to keep you somewhat hidden like you do on an online dating site.
Technology affords you the time and space to construct a response to a person’s message without the pressure of having to come up with a response spontaneously.
It affords you the time and space to come up with a topic to text each other about without the pressure of having to come up with that topic right there and then.
There are a lot of advantages that technology provides when you are communicating with someone through an online dating site.
However, a first date is something else.
You are actually meeting this person in real life.
There will be no technology to prop you up and keep you protected.
You will be encountering this person face to face.
Clearly, you have had recurring issues with your first dates.
You may believe that the fact that you are very shy was what led to the failure of these first dates but you should think again.
This is a person that you have been talking to on a dating site who has agreed to meet with you.
They already like you.
Indeed, they may not be aware that you are very shy thanks to the power of communicating through a technological medium.
However, this doesn’t mean that they aren’t open to being with a shy person.
Indeed, they may even be shy themselves.
To get better at your first dates, it may be best for you to stop focusing so much on the fact that you are very shy and focus more so on changing your strategy.
Being that you have already had a number of failed first dates where your shyness probably led to giant lulls in conversation as you both struggled to come up with what to talk about or struggled to keep a conversation going, it may be time now to try engaging in a different type of activity on your first dates.
The kind of activity that makes conversation flow naturally.
Instead of always meeting for coffee or a drink of some sort, meet up on an activity that requires the both of you to engage with each other through participation.
Think about the conversations that you have had with this person on the dating site.
There are activities that you have both talked about that you both enjoy.
It may have been something to do with a physical activity.
For example, the both of you may have talked about your love for a particular type of dance and how you want to get better at it.
Perhaps it is in tap dancing, the tango, waltz, swing, salsa, country, folk, etc.
This first date would actually be an opportunity for the both of you to take a class in this particular activity.
Being that you already love this kind of dance, you would be putting yourself in an environment that you love.
This will make you feel so much more relaxed as opposed to being so nervous.
Also, the activity itself will give the both of you so much to talk and laugh about.
The advantage of having a few other people there who are taking the class as well will also relieve the pressure of having to constantly keep each other entertained.
Dancing is merely an example.
The both of you may share a common love for another type of activity.
Think about what that is and use that to your advantage on your first date.
Thinking outside the box when it comes to your first dates can help you dramatically get better at them.
Don’t be afraid to engage in an activity that is somewhat outside the norm for first dates.
When you take this step, not only will you have so much fun on your first date, but it will give the both of you something to talk about in more extemporaneous detail if you both decide to have a drink or a bite to eat after the class.
The chemistry and energy between the both of you at this point will most likely be electric.
The night may end with the both of you making plans for your next date.
After getting home and unwinding for a little bit, it may suddenly hit you that you had no problem with conversation during that first date.
For all those fun hours, you actually forgot that you are naturally a very shy person.
That is the power of engaging in a common activity on your first date when you are a very shy person.