Online Dating: Do You Continue Messaging After Setting Up A Date A Week+ Out?

Online Dating: Do You Continue Messaging After Setting Up A Date A Week+ Out?


The messaging shouldn’t stop on account of having set up a date a week or so out.

This is where people make an egregious mistake on dating sites.

They set up a date with someone they were having good conversations with and believe that this means that there is no need to keep messaging the person until the day of the date or a day before to confirm it.

This is not the right approach.

You were establishing a rapport with the person while messaging each other.

The last thing you want to do is interrupt that process by stopping messaging altogether on account of having set up a date a week or so out.

This is akin to watching a movie and getting emotionally invested in it, then stopping the movie on a scene and not returning to the movie for a week or more.

By the time you get back to that scene, whatever emotional connection you were experiencing with the movie has been lost and it is almost like you are starting the movie all over again.

This is what it is like when you have been having good conversations with someone on a dating site, set up a date with them, and stop messaging after the fact.

You don’t want to lose the momentum.

It makes the date that much more awkward.

Being that you stopped messaging each other after the date was set, meeting in person feels like you are meeting a complete stranger.

Why do this?

Meeting someone in person is already nerve-wracking enough without making it that much harder by not messaging each other a week or so before the date.

I get it.

Online dating has given people the feeling that one gets when they are looking through a magazine brochure.

Pick what you want, order it and move on to the next item.

Although this may work with objects, it doesn’t work with human beings.

We are complicated sentient beings motivated and highly influenced by emotion.

We need to maintain a sense of connection with each other in order to get the most out of a relationship.

When you don’t message each other, the connection that was developing is severed and you would have to start all over again at the date.

The date isn’t a given either.

As the days go by and you both talk to other people from the dating site, either one of you could develop an interest in those people to such an extent that the prospect of meeting each other on the date that was set becomes less and less appealing.

A better connection is developing with someone new and since it has been days since you spoke to each other, the connection once shared is no longer as strong.

Someone else has taken that crown, leaving either one of you wondering about what it would be like to meet this new person.

This is a phenomenon that is especially widespread on dating sites.

Unlike real life, there are so many dating options on dating sites that a loss of momentum could spell doom for two people who stop messaging each other for a few days and up.

This loss of momentum influences the likelihood you both even show up on the date.

Just like that, a promising start has been ruined because there was no more messaging after the date was set a week or so out.

So as not to lose out on the potential of something good, continue messaging each other even if the date is set and a week or so out.

It doesn’t have to be an everyday thing, but it still needs to happen fairly regularly until the day of the date arrives.

This is how you maintain momentum and an emotional connection.