Don’t get too caught up in a mindset of believing that you know this old college acquaintance.
It’s been 10 years, and it’s not like you kept in touch with each other during that time.
Although you have matched on a dating app, this doesn’t mean that you are both compatible.
It’s easy to fall into the mindset that you know this old college acquaintance.
You recall how you two had a number of factors in common while in college and instantly make yourself believe that this must mean you are ideal for each other.
Don’t make the assumption that you know him.
You don’t know how much he has changed in the last 10 years.
The factors you had in common with him in college could have changed in the last 10 years.
Keep that in mind as you match with him on a dating app and start a conversation with him.
It’s tempting to dwell on the past as you chat with each other.
You go down a rabbit hole of what college life was like back in the day.
It’s alright to talk about it for a little bit, but you mustn’t dwell on it.
You need to know who he is today.
When you are stuck on an idealized notion of what you remember him as, you build expectations within yourself.
Upon chatting with him, you are at risk of being disappointed, if you observe that he isn’t what you remember.
You had built up all of this hope in your mind about what you remember him as, and upon chatting with him and realizing that he isn’t what you remember or have built up in your mind, you could prematurely make a judgement that you aren’t compatible without giving this reintroduction a chance.
Presumptions are dangerous.
Without keeping it in check, it has a potential of ruining a connection between two people on a dating app who were previously acquainted with each other.
Eschew making assumptions of what you think he is like based on what you remember of him from your college days.
The truth is, there is a strong probability he has changed in a number of ways.
He has aged and lived life for 10 years since you two were in college.
This tends to cause changes in a person as they age.
There is a strong probability that you have changed in some ways too in the last 10 years.
If he were to have all of the same expectations of what you must be like based on what he remembers of you from 10 years ago, he is just as susceptible to jeopardizing this reintroduction.
He would have a mindset that you are someone that you aren’t anymore.
That puts a lot of pressure on you to meet that expectation as you chat with him on a dating app, and this only makes it harder to give each other a fair shot.
It’s alright to reminisce briefly, but you mustn’t dwell on it.
Shift gears fairly quickly into conversations that address who you are today.
This saves you from running into a trap of assumptions and expectations that you two are unlikely to meet, given that it has been 10 years since you were last in each other’s lives.