Online Dating: Should I Initiate Contact After An Unsuccessful Intimate Night?

Online Dating: Should I Initiate Contact After An Unsuccessful Intimate Night?


Intimacy can be tricky.

You may be alright or even great in bed and yet your first time with a person that you have been connecting with online feels like your very first time.

A time when you were bumbling around as a teenager or young adult, trying to figure out what goes where.

You didn’t meet this person through the traditional channels of yesteryear.

This wasn’t a person that was introduced to you by friends, colleagues or that you met at a social event.

Meeting people online is different.

Perhaps you had a few weeks of great conversation on the dating site before deciding to meet each other in real life.

Think about how you felt at the prospect of getting to meet this person in the flesh.

You were nervous and scared.

You were wondering about how the meeting would go.

You were so concerned about all of this that you forgot about how amazing it was that you were about to meet this person in real life.

The date happened.

Maybe it went well.

But, you were nervous.

Maybe there was a another date that transpired a week or so later.

It went well but you were still nervous.

Now, the intimacy.

Whether it happened after the first date or some other date, you may have never really allowed yourself to get comfortable with this person.

This ultimately affected how you performed on that fateful night.

Now you are embarrassed or just feel awkward.

After all that talking for weeks, only to end up with an unsuccessful night of intimacy.

You wonder if there is any point in initiating contact with this person.

There is.

The person was probably just as nervous as you were.

Remember, you both met on an online dating site.

A non-traditional way of meeting someone.

This person was a stranger to you.

They weren’t introduced to you by a trusted friend or family member which would have helped to give you a greater sense of comfort with the person.

There has been no history between you and this person besides the time that the both of you have spent on the online dating site and in consequent dates.

Is it a wonder that the intimate night was unsuccessful?

It really isn’t.

You are someone who needs to feel a much stronger level of familiarity and trust with someone before reaching a place where you feel comfortable enough to perform well during intimacy.

They may be that way as well.

If they aren’t, they may understand that the circumstances in which the both of you met through the digital world of cyberspace may require that the both of you spend a lot more time getting know each other in the flesh, in order to build a stronger level of familiarity and trust with each other.

You should initiate contact with this person.

If the chemistry was there online and also there during your dates, it will eventually be there in intimacy.

You both just need to spend more face to face time with each other in the real world.