Sometimes, while in the process of online dating, many people get to a point where going on all these multiple dates makes them feel like they are trying to recruit someone for a job.
They are going on all these interviews in a search for the best person for the job.
Some interviews seem promising.
It looks like they have their candidate, but, something doesn’t work out.
That candidate isn’t returning their follow-up calls or the candidate doesn’t show up on an arranged follow-up interview.
Then it’s back to the grind to find a new candidate.
So much of this is akin to what some people experience in online dating.
They are not having any trouble getting dates, but those dates never seem to bear fruit.
After a while of dating, it gets exhausting.
Each person that you meet up with just seems to be another number.
Your mind even checks out of the date.
They are speaking but you don’t hear the words.
All you can think of is that this is going to be yet another failed date.
Everyone just seems to meld into each other.
They say the same things.
Have the same mannerisms.
Have been in the same or similar social circles.
It all becomes so familiar that you find it hard to tell one date from the other.
When you have reached a point like this, you need to take a break from online dating.
This gives you an opportunity to take a look at what you have been doing.
There is a good chance that taking this time off gives you a perspective that you were unable to see while you were in the process of online dating.
What most people in your situation notice when they take a break from online dating is something that takes them by surprise.
They notice that the person that they have been trying to find as a partner has now become completely vague.
They don’t even know who this person is anymore.
Going on multiple dates with multiple prospects thoroughly obfuscated or blurred out their original intended desire in what they were looking for in a mate.
They realize that there online dating path had morphed into one in search of perfection.
You may still have some ability to recall some of the people that you went on dates with that seemed really promising.
Although at first you followed up on people like this and it didn’t go anywhere, you probably gave up on that.
There is a chance that you let good prospects go in fear that they either would ghost you if you tried to follow up with them or you simply felt that you could do better.
You have let good prospects go, out of insecurity in certain situations and out of dismissiveness in other situations, believing that you could find someone better.
This is the problem with falling into the trap of going on multiple dates.
You experience two things.
You get jaded and you become the perfectionist.
After a while, it really doesn’t matter how wonderful a date is, they are not enough.
There was something missing and you intend to find that missing element in the next date that you go on.
If, after this break from online dating and time of introspection, you choose to get back to online dating, you have to use a different approach.
Instead of lining up dates, take your time in getting to know a few dating prospects at a time.
This gives you the opportunity to get to know the person so that they aren’t just another dating profile with pretty pictures.
This way, if you both decide to ultimately meet on a date, you are more taken with who they are as a person as opposed to how they check the box of perfection.
Spending the time to get to know each other well before meeting on a date increases the chances that they won’t ghost you after that date.
Remember, they have also gotten to know you during this interim time and have now developed an emotional connection to you.
A connection that they would want to continue exploring after a first date.
It is easier to ghost someone when an emotional connection isn’t there.
Also, having gotten to know this person well before meeting them on a date gives you a strong desire to get to know more about them in person.
This reduces the chances that you pick out their flaws in an attempt to go back to the dating site to find the perfect mate.
If anything, this person’s flaws become their strengths.
They become part of the reason why you want to get to know this person even better in more consequent face to face dates.