Online Dating: When The Call Turns Into An Interview, Should I Be Turned Off?

Online Dating: When The Call Turns Into An Interview, Should I Be Turned Off?

Having met her on an online dating site and chatting there for a while, it felt appropriate to ask whether she cared to talk over the phone.

She agreed.

Numbers were exchanged and a call was made.

It didn’t take long before you realized that the lighthearted conversations you had been having with her on the dating site had now segued to interview-like questions over the phone.

Unexpectedly, you were fielding questions from her about handling differences in personality and ideas on relationship dynamics, from what proper communication entails, to your outlook on a partner that earns more money.

Before you knew what was happening, you were having to answer questions that left your brain reeling, as you were totally unprepared for this.

Once the call was over, it felt like you had completed a phone interview and you don’t know whether you should be turned off by this or not.

You haven’t been on a single date with her and yet it feels like you were put through a melee of questioning that was supposed to occur after having had multiple dates.

It isn’t surprising that you are feeling like this, mentally exhausted, wondering whether this was a conversation between two romantic prospects as opposed to an interviewer and an interviewee.

Whatever romantic goodwill you had with her on the online dating site before that phone call was made seems like a distant memory.

The prospect of asking to meet her on a first date doesn’t sound as enticing as it once did.

Though this felt like a lot to field in a phone call, take into account that you had built rapport with her prior to the phone call.

You two had spent time chatting on the dating site before deciding to exchange phone numbers and talk on the phone.

The conversations on the dating site were lighthearted and fun.

This established a significant degree of security within her.

To her, your request to talk on the phone meant that she had passed the first test.

That of generating good conversation on the dating site.

In moving conversation from the dating site to a phone call, you gave her the impression that you were looking to transition into a deeper stage of conversation.

This is why that phone call turned into an interview.

Once you suggested that you two talk on the phone, she got the impression that you were permitting her to take the conversation you had both been having thus far to a whole new level.

Given the nature of that phone call and its adverse effect on you, it was presumptuous of her to think that she was permitted to raise the level of discourse to this range.

Though she has left you reeling, don’t be too quick to turn yourself off of her.

Prior to this phone call, her conversations with you on the dating site were filled with fun and laughter.

Don’t permit one phone call that turned into an interview to erase the prior chemistry you had with her.

Follow this phone call up with asking her to meet you for a real life date.

Given the rapport built on the dating site prior to the phone call, she has earned at least one real life date with you.

Her conversation style in person could be the opposite of her conversation style over the phone, further reminding you of the fun girl you met on the dating site.