Online Dating: Unmatched After 1st Message

Online Dating: Unmatched After 1st Message

It messed up your day.

A match was established with her and there was a message exchange.

She quickly unmatched right after she received your 1st message to her.

You don’t know what you did wrong.

The message was polite.

There was nothing about it that was ornery or rude.

If anything, it was overly polite.

Yet, here you are, unmatched.

She never gave it more than one message exchange before she unmatched.

She made an instant negative judgment of you.

I know where you are coming from.

You did everything in your power to send a message that wouldn’t upset her.

And this is your reward.


I know that you are frustrated, but it’s well-documented that women receive a much greater volume of matches and messages on dating apps than men do.

This makes her pickier in who she chooses to talk to.

It doesn’t to you any favors to play it too safe with your messages.

That strategy instantly sends the message that you are boring.

She has too many dating options to have the patience to conduct a conversation with a guy she senses as boring.

This is where she unmatches.

It’s savage, I know.

But this is the reality of dating apps.

Women are in the driver’s seat.

They receive the lion’s share of attention.

This enables her to be as picky as she wants.

To increase the odds that she doesn’t unmatch after your first message to her, set yourself apart from the rest of the guys.

She won’t be kind to messages that are generic or play it safe.

Too many guys are generic in how they conduct an opening conversation and this does nothing to get her excited or stimulated to keep the conversation going.

The thing is, there was initial interest in these guys.

That is why she chose to match with the guy in the first place.

There was something about these men that compelled her to swipe left.

That gives you an advantage.

You two have matched.

She has swiped right on your dating profile.

This means that something captured her interest about your dating profile.

What was it?

Take a look at your dating profile and compare it with hers.

Are there similar interests?

If there are, look to see which of these interests she wrote about with the greatest passion and intensity.

This is the interest that aided in compelling her to swipe right on your dating profile.

Besides your looks, she loves having this interest in common with you.

Introduce this common interest in your first message to her.

This is what instantly grabs her attention.

Don’t waste your time sending generic messages and boring pleasantries.

This is an erroneous way in which so many guys attempt to warm their way into a conversation, and following the same path does you a disservice.

Jump right into conversation by asking a relevant question around an interest you mutually share that she spoke of passionately in her dating profile.

This raises the likelihood that you set yourself apart from so many men, encouraging her to get into a sustained conversation with you, which keeps you from getting unmatched.